Reveries and Passions: 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
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Monday, May 31, 2004
"Suppose there was a king who loved a humble maiden, " begins a story by Kierkegaard.
The king was like no other king. Every statesman trembled before his power. No one dared breathe a word against him, for he had the strength to crush all opponents. And yet this mighty king was melted by love for a humble maiden.
How could he declare his love for her? In an odd sort of way, his very kingliness tied his hands. If he brought her to the palace and crowned her head with jewels and clothed her body in royal robes, she would surely not resist - no one dared resist him. But would she love him?
She would say she loved him, of course, but would she truly? Or would she live with him in fear, nursing a private grief for the life she had left behind. Would she be happy at his side? How could he know?
If he rode to her forest cottage in his royal carriage, with an armed escort waving bright banners, that too would overwhelm her. He did not want a cringing subject. He wanted a lover, an equal. He wanted her to forget that he was a king and she a humble maiden and to let shared love cross over the gulf between them.
For it is only in love that the unequal can be made equal, " concluded Kierkegaard. The king, convinced he could not elevate the maiden without crushing her freedom, resolved to descend. He clothed himself as a beggar and approached her cottage incognito, with a worn cloak fluttering loosely about him. It was no mere disguise, but a new identity he took on. He renounced the throne to win her hand.
[Philippians 2]
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
I'm reading the book "Disappointment with God" by P. Yancey again...and a chapter really stood out to me today as I read it. For those of you that have the book, it's on page 92...but I'll type it out anyways:
When the prophets complained loudly about God's hiddenness, God didn't argue. He agreed with them, and then explained why he was keeping his distance. To Jeremiah, God expressed his disgust with what he saw in Israel: dishonest gain, the shedding of innocent blood, oppression, extortion. He covered his eyes, he said, refusing even to see hands spread out in a posture of prayer, for those hands were covered wih blood. To Ezekiel, God explained that once Israel's rebellions had passed a certain point, he simply "gave them over" to their sins. He withdrew, letting the people choose their own way and bear the consequences. To Zechariah, he said, "When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen."
My slowness to act is a sign of mercy, not of weakness.
When God did not punish quickly, the people of Israel presumed he had lost his power: "He will do nothing! No harm will come to us; we will never see sword or famine." They were wrong. God's restraint marked an interlude of mercy, a time of probation he was granting Israel. Reluctantly, like a parent out of options, God resorted to punishment.
I think this really spoke to me cause a lot of time I complain about God's silence and His lack of intervention in my life...but who am I to complain? I know there were many times that God spoke to me and I simply brushed His words aside. Then when I'm in trouble I come crawling back. I dunno, I guess it helped me to put things into perspective. God's silence isn't necessarily God's lack of power, rather...it's our lack of obedience...our lack of desire to turn astray from the path we've fallen to.
Alive
[Payable On Death]
click for video
Everyday is a new day
I'm thankful for every breath I take
I won't take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It's beyond my control, sometimes it's best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind
I...I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can't deny you
I feel so alive
I...I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly
Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can't hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I've seen you
I can never look away
Now that I know you
I could never turn my back away
Now that I see you
I could never look away
Now that I know you
I could never turn my back away
Now that I see you
I believe no matter what they say
Monday, May 24, 2004
sometimes you needa just let go
other times you needa just hold on
it's all in the motion of the swing
you grip too hard, you choke the swing
if held too loosely, you lose the swing
it's like getting that unexpected e-mail
you can get so enamored by it you forget to reply
or you could be too excited and reply in haste
anyways, that was my attempt to sound smartly...
dang, i feel like i'm wasting my summer away. DE course, sleep, eat, food network, occasional softball, occasional talks with friend...a lot of doing nothing.
i wanna go on an adventure. perhaps to the unexplored parts of PCA, tackle the treadmill, figure out why things don't fall sideways...
meh, i guess with the free time...i can do more things on the fly...
time to listen to another lecture...eventually
oh yeah, can someone teach me how to edit the new blog template (ie. add the comment thingy and message board thingy and other thingys)? the html is pretty confusing...it's not as user-friendly as the other one
i'd really appreciate it...email me! samuelhsieh@yahoo.com
=)
Saturday, May 15, 2004
God Is God
[Steven Curtis Chapman]
click for clip
And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know
And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God
And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
'Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I
Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass
Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things
So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone
Thursday, May 13, 2004
"Should've...would've...but didn't..." - the story of my life
Well, yesterday was a pretty depressing day for me...I don't think I've been that down in a long while. I failed my road test cause of a stupid mistake when doing a lane change. So yeah, at first I was pretty pissed off when I failed...then once I got home I got really pissed off. I know it isn't that big of a deal...but for some reason...I just started balling when I got home. I just couldn't help but feel stupid and how unfair the situation was. It's not like I didn't know how to drive, it was cause of a stupid split decision I made. Then again, I think it was my pride that got hurt the most. If I had waited about 10 extra seconds, I would've passed.
Anywho, for the rest of the day I just didn't feel like talking to anyone or do anything except sleep and watch the food network.
So yeah, before going to bed...I laid awake thinking of all the things that I've regretted doing in the past (as far as I could remember anyways). Since grade one to first year of university...if I had made one conscious decision to not do a thing, then a lot of my future habits would've been prevented. If I had chose to honour God more than myself, I would've been a better vessel for Him to use. I wish I had a different mindset as a child...I was a pretty selfish kid, and I think as a result I still haven't learned to live selflessly. With that said, boy oh boy, was my pride busted open yesterday.
Many regrets, many things I wished I didn't do, many things I wish I did do...
"Should've...would've...but didn't..."
Ironically, I find myself focusing more on the smaller temporal situations than the bigger eternal ones. I had to bring myself back to reality and realize that God's plan still happens...with or without me...everything will still happen with or without me. I'm a small character in the whole play, the show still goes on!
"You must increase I must decrease Lord."
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Was reading through the book of James this morning...and a verse really stuck out at me, it was like an answer to a request I made to God...
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." [James 4:3]
When I first read it I was like...whoa...man, felt like if I just walked into a brick wall...it really got my attention. Cause lately I really wanted to know the answer to a certain question in regards to a certain area in my life, but received no answers at all. So I figured I should patiently wait...then like this morning, I felt that the prayer was answered. It wasn't that God wasn't willing to reveal the answer, it was cause I wasn't ready to receive it yet. I was too caught up in my own desires and not His. I sought after my own glory and not His. I thought I could seek the answer through my way and not His. This verse (as well as the rest of the chapter) was a good wake-up call for me to really seek His glory through all things. I guess I needa practice what I preach, I needa let go of the paint-brush and leave it to Him to complete the picture. Keeping the bigger picture in mind, keeping eternity in mind.
All for His glory.
Oh yeah, G2-road test tomorrow, hopefully I won't knock anyone off the sidewalk....haha.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
The Reason
[Hoobastank]
click to watch video
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
I'll Be There For You
[The Rembrandts]
click to listen
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke-You're broke-Your lovelife's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year
You're still in bed at ten, and work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast-So far, things are goin' great
Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees that
But I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU (WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR)
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU (LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE)
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU ('CAUSE YOU'RE THERE FOR ME TOO)
No one could ever know me-No one could ever assume me
Seems you're the only one who knows, what it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with-Make it through all the mess with
Someone I'll always laugh with-Even at my worst I'm best with you