Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Yesterday is gone
Today's a new song
Tomorrow may never come
Still learnin' to breath and live the current now,
Still want this to be more than a thrill
I need a life for God's glory
I want a life that follows His will
The rain drips down the window plane
I'm walking the walk, but without the pain
I want the honour to suffer for His name
I want to go all out, no more lame games.
Yesterday is gone
Today's a new song
Tomorrow may never come
I wanna live the life I should be living not just a facade or put my hopes in empty promises of the world. Today I have lost a friend, I will no longer be chillin' with the World anymore...the Flesh and the World can just eat my dust...no longer will I want to be associated with them anymore. No more compromise, no more sidetracking...gotta focus on the eternal goal, the eternal hope, the eternal promise.
What is most important to me now? Saving souls? School? Or self? I wanna serve my Saviour to the utmost. We were created to worship God and that's exactly what I wanna do.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Game Over man.
It's like, super garbage.
Got another failing mark in Chem...35%.
Dang...maybe I wasn't up for this Biochem thing after all...if my marks remain this low after the finals, I think it's a pretty clear sign for me to switch programs.
Ah well, needa look at the bigger picture I suppose. Can't focus too much on just this current disappointment, gotta give glory to God all the time!
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Went to Campus Crusade this evening, good times. Miss the people and the fellowship very much...glad night labs are finally over. This week has been much easier paced than the last. Still have much studying to do, but I also have a lot of catching up with people that needs to be done.
I think maybe UW might be the place God wants me to be at, but I'm still definately uncertain whether if I'm in the right program. Time will tell. Time will tell a lot of things, but we never seem to have enough of time. Time is still the best gift you could give to someone.
Maybe we've been livin'...
With our eyes half opened
Maybe we've been livin'...
With our hearts half closed
Maybe we're singin'...
A song of anguish
Maybe we're singin'...
A song of hope
Maybe we'll be runnin'...
To another tomb tomorrow
Maybe we'll be wearin'...
Another grudge to borrow
There's too many maybe's
In this life we're livin'...
There's only one hope
In Christ who is risen.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Today was the only "breather" I had this whole week. Had my spec lab exam today and last chem lab last night. Off to more assignments and studying for next week. Superb-io...I have my last mid-term next monday! Oh yeah, one more thing...our residence had a sweater design contest, and unexpectantly they happened to select my chicken-stratch artwork. Quite a delightful surprise...like honey-garlic and cajun chicken wings at Morty's.
So yeah, I was challenged earlier this week during the men's cell group to set aside a day just to spent with the Lord each week...like on sunday. So now I wanna try to do all the work and stuff that needs to be done from Mon-Sat. so that Sunday will be completely free to spend time in the Word and to catch up with friends. I don't know how successful I will be...but I guess it's worth a shot.
Man, I can't believe first year is almost over...it's insane how fast time flies by when you party so hard...("study parties" that is...)
Sunday, March 14, 2004
I am no longer who I was,
But am becoming whom I shall be.
I see now a shady reflection,
But will one day be transparent to me.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
On Fire [Switchfoot]
They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be
But everything inside you knows there's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations filled with empty words
And you're on fire when He's near you
You're on fire when He speaks
You're on fire burning at these mysteries
Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be near you
When everything inside me looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take
And you're on fire when He's near you
You're on fire when He speaks
You're on fire burning at these mysteries
I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing at the edge of everything I've ever been
And I've been standing at the edge of me, standing at the edge.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
A long week to quite an end. Saw the Passion of the Christ with Campus Crusade this evening. The movie left me speechless, tearing...it was harder to digest than a bucket full of tofu congee. What struck me most about the movie was...WHY? Why did Jesus have to do what He did? Why did He go thru the pain, the suffering, the torment, the insult, the torture, the death? He did it so that each one of us could have eternal life, more than humbling a thought.
Feeliing poetic...
Why?
Jesus was the carpenter's son
He could have lived a normal life
Yet, He chose to be radical
He chose to do God's will
In this life He wanted no gain
The Passion, this is no game
He was the chosen one
Humble beginnings was He
From the highest heights
He descended to the lowest lows
In the manger with the wheat and grain
The Passion, exalt His name.
People denied Him, we do that daily too
Whenever we decide to
Let life be about us and not Him
Whenever we decide to look out for number one
Everytime we seek personal gain, we lose
The Passion, all for His reign.
Are we His disciples, or are we just mockers?
Do we hold the scorge in our hand and let loose
On a body beating over and over
Because we choose not to follow?
Why? Why did He have to save you and me? Heal the maim and lame?
Because of His love, there's no other, there's only One Name.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
What pride I had in myself is fleeting. God has truly been showing me my weakness in my former strength. I once thought that I was quite successful in the area of academics, but this week God has taught me otherwise. All the marks I got back from three of my classes have been lower than a 63%. Today was a milestone in humility...I failed my first mid-term ever in Spectroscopy with a whopping 49%. Am I disappointed? No doubt! Am I discouraged? Absolutely! But the question isn't whether I am satisfied or not, but the more important question is how can I honour God despite my inabilities? I wanna learn to give God the glory in all circumstances, especially when it seems down and hopeless. I need to be able to look to Him for happiness, not in the things that I get on this earth.
Putting eternity into perspective is key. What marks I receive is just temporal compared to the marks that I will receive when I get to heaven.
Anyways, it's been a long week, a long day, and a long time since I've been this discouraged. Tis' all good in Jesus' hood though! =)
