Reveries and Passions

2010-11-26T17:00:00.002-05:00

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2007-08-24T21:29:00.000-04:00

"Truth be told, most of us are faking our way through life. We pick only those battles we are sure to win, only those adventures we are sure to handle, only those beauties we are sure to rescue." [W@H]

Since coming back from Montreal, a lot has happened...the good, the bad, and the delicious. Another academic term has ended and another is about to begin. The past 4 months has been a whirlwind of events, most of which i cannot recall. But with every season in life, a new lesson can be learned. Starfield said it best, "The other day while I was driving home my world was shaken. It occurred to me that I had left too many risks untaken. I'm always sitting here just waiting for a revelation. Is it ever gonna come?" [Tumbling After]

Taking risks, stepping into the unknown, doing something that is more than pedestrian...none of those are my fortes. But i think i'm beginning to understand the essence of living with no regrets. How would one know the results of an action unless....one takes action? i think i've been sitting around and waiting for too long...but then, i've become so comfortable with inactivity that i may need to re-learn the basics of mobility again.

On a yummy note, these past few weeks has been foodelicious...it has definitely been a lot of stepping outta comfort zones to try new places. Summary of my experiences:

Rex Saigon - This place was actually quite packed, so you know the food served was fresh. The lunch combo consisted of tom yung soup, mango salad, a spring roll, and a choice of pad thai or curry with rice. i chose the pad thai. The soup was mediocre, salad refreshing, spring roll piping hot, and pad thai cooked pretty darn well. A side of calamari was also ordered. It was spiced perfectly and had a succulent texture. The decor of the place was prehistoric, and the service could use improvement.

Overall: 3.68/5.00 Portion sizes were great, but nothing stellar that stuck out. Good place to bring a significant other for a 5th or 6th date.

Thai Fusion - A new restaurant that recently opened up. Open concept decor, fairly simple and clean cut design. i ordered fresh watermelon juice, which was quite...fresh and stellar. the lunch combo consisted of pad thai, vegetable spring rolls (2), side salad and tom yung soup. This place definitely was sub-par compared to Rex Saigon. Pad thai was clumpy, soup was slightly watery, and the flavour combination and texture of the ingredients in the spring rolls did not work well for me. The redeeming part of the experience was the superb calamari that was served in a martini cup.

Overall: 2.99/5.00 The lunch menu was disappointing, but i'm sure other items (such as the calamari) would taste dandy. Good place to take revenge on an ex by ordering them half a dozen spring rolls.

Le Brix (Napa Valley and Grille) - A cougar lounge by night, but it's fairly safe to go before 7pm. In fact, i was early enough to catch the half-priced apps. i ordered calamari, lamb rack, duck gyoza, pesto chicken flatbread, PEI mussels, fries AND a sangria all for under $50 (split between 3 people). Calamari was tender, but could be spiced more. The dipping sauce was delish. The lamb was juicy, interesting choice of a Mongolian BBQ sauce. Flatbread was loaded with goat cheese goodness, mussels cooked to perfection and fries...well, they're just fries. Sangria wasn't bad either. Fairly typical lounge-ish decor, nice touch with TV ads in the washroom stalls.

Overall: 4.01/5.00 Half price apps are the way to go, other items on the menu are fairly steep. Good place to bring your cougar friends.

Ichiban Sushi (Richmond Lane) - Small cozy place with nice pictured-menus. The price is fairly steep for an a la carte place, but you pay for what you get. The sashimi here is glistening fresh. Salmon, tuna, mackeral...all melt in your mouth consistency. Service isn't too shabby either. You can find your favourite sushi, specialty rolls, tempuras and noodles made to perfection. A minor caveat, don't get the green tea ice cream...it tastes kinda funky.

Overall: 4.35/5.00 For a few extra bucks you could go to an all-you-can-eat place, but this place's quality definitely trumps a lot of others. Good place to bring sashimi-fanatics.

Lemongrass (Richmond Lane) - Typical pho/noodle shop. Tables were slightly greasy, and the servers looked more ticked off than a constipated fat man. i ordered a Satay beef noodle soup. The portion was big enough but not all of our food came at the same time. Flavour was mediocre at best.

Overall: 2.13/5.00 The price was okay, food was okay, but the horrible service was a big turn-off. Good place to ignore.

Spices - A new restaurant that opened up this week. Dark, romantic decor. i ordered their signature Pineapple fried rice and a side of rice paper spring rolls. Fried rice was beautiful, and the spring rolls were refreshing. Instead of a bread basket, there was a bowl of deep-fried spring roll wrappers (with thai dipping sauces) which was rather phenomenal. The service was top-notch, my glass of water was always filled. To say that the waitresses were fair maidens is an understatement. The salty-wet manager looming around the room was kind of awkward.

Overall: 4.55/5.00 The food wasn't too bad, nothing really special about it...but the excellent service made the experience worthwhile. Good place to bring your desperate buddy to pick-up...the bill.

Center Street Deli - We went during the lunch hour rush and this place was PACKED. Despite the fact, we didn't wait too long in line as the turnover rate was rather quick. i got the Center Street special...a fatty old fashioned smoked meat sandwich with fries and coleslaw, and of course, a black cherry coke on the side. The food came quickly and in good quantity. The smoked meat...was almost as good as the ones i've had in Montreal. The decor had a diner fascade, and the service was spectacular. Fast and friendly. We got complimentary digestive cookies at the end.

Overall: 4.75/5.00 Worth the trek to the west end of the city. i would definitely go back to try the other kosher items on the menu. Good place to come back to again and again and again...

Fire on the East Side - Nice, relaxing bar. Had their lunch pulled-pork sandwich with fries. Huge portions and not-too-shabby service. The molasses BBQ sauce was a bit too sweet for my liking but the pork was ridiculously tender. Fries were addictively greasy.

Overall: 3.50/5.00 Most of the items on the menu can be found elsewhere, unless you're in the area, it's not worth the subway ride downtown. Good place to chillax after a long day at work.

Duff's - [not a legit review] Heard this place was famous for its wings, so when i was in the area i had to drop by. Got 10 hot-honey garlic wings to go. The sauce tasted funny and the wings were a bit drier that i would've liked...definitely didn't live up to the hype i was anticipating.

Overall: 2.50/5.00 Can't judge the rest of the restaurant based on just the wings, but All-Stars and Morty's trumps their wings anyday. Good place to go for their dill-ranch dip.

Hollwood Gelato's - Fast and speedy service. The two times that i went i got their coconut cream pie...and man alive, it's pretty darn good. You can see chunks of fresh ingredients in their gelatos and sorbets, almost as good as the place i went to in Montreal. Ginormous scoops.

Overall: 4.77/5.00 Excellent flavour selections that changes frequently. Good place to go to on a hot, humid day...or after a long day at the beaches. Date-worthy factor: 4.99/5.00

Grand Island Seafood Oyster Bar & Grill - We went there for their summer oyster deal: half a dozen oyster and a glass of wine (or beer) for a reasonable price. i ordered 2 malpeques (PEI), 2 mayagis (BC), 2 kushis (BC), and a glass of white Pinot. All of the oysters were shucked fresh and tasted beautiful. Mayagis were my fave out of the 3 due to its perfect balance of meat and liquor, and the sweet finish at the end. The chilled Pinot worked perfectly as an accompaniament. There was also a live jazz-pianist performing...it was a fairly chic place.

Overall: 4.68/5.00 Quality service and ambience, some of the items on the menu can break the bank, but it's worth it. Good place to go on a first date.

2006-12-14T11:51:00.000-05:00

"Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet."

What is sweeter than the love of family and friends?
What is stronger than the bond of blood?

so this will be the last post on this blog of this calendar year. click [here] for future non-sensical updates.
=)

So anywho, i read over the story of my son recently, Samson (hahaha, get it? Sam's son = Samson...har har har), and what a phenomenal story. it was like...a story taken out of a comic strip. i see a lot of parallels between the character of Samson with Batman and Superman.

Besides kryptonite and low-fudge non-fat over-priced ice cream, the Achilles' heel of all these characters is, yup, you've guessed it...women.

A lil' background on Samson...he was a judge over Israel when the Philistines ruled over them (because of the nation's sins). He was a man set apart from birth to be a Nazirite, which required them to abstain from wine, wine vinegar, grapes, and raisins, refrain from cutting one's hair and/or beard, and to avoid corpses and graves, even those of a family member.

Couple of things stood out to me in the 20 years which Samson was judge...one of which is Samson's constant desire to get revenge. He wants to seek justice for the wrongs committed to him (kind of like Batman). even though i found it to be selfish, God still used this to judge the Philistines. this goes to show that despite my impurities and imperfections, God can still utilize me for His purposes.

Second thing, there were two predominant women in Samson's love life. The first was indicated "of the Lord" [Judges 14:4] while the second was not. The second eventually led to his downfall. Interestingly, i'm reminded that when we seek a relationship which is not of the Lord, it WILL lead to your demise (speaking from experience).

The downfall came about due to his lack of patience and perseverance. Because of the nagging of both these women, Samson eventually gave away the answer to his riddle and the secret to his strength. i'm reminded of the constant "nagging" and struggles that i have with temptations. no matter how fierce it gets or how annoying, or even how it will tire me to death [Judges 16:16], i must choose not to obey it nor succomb to it.

Also, the source of Samson's strength was not of his own, but rather, of the LORD. "Then the Spirit of the LORD came upon him in power..." [Judges 14:6, 14:19, 15:14] This reminded me of Superman...how he gets recharged by the sun, whereas Samson gets recharged by the Son. that's how my life should be as well, being constantly refilled before battle by His Spirit. cause by my own strength, i WILL be defeated, no question about it.

oh, and check out this video if you guys have time, it's definitely worth the 9 minutes or so of your life...

"We were meant to live for so much more." - Switchfoot

wanna know more about the ticket? leave a comment =)

2006-11-25T13:43:00.000-05:00

Rethunk

...over the past week or so...i did some contemplating of why i started this blog in the first place. then i'm reminded of what brought me to the world of web logging. in first year of univ...i wanted this to be a medium in which to share the going-ons and happenings with friends out of town (and in town). it was to serve as a tool to share my joys, struggles, and ambitions. most of all...i wanted to share His story on this blog with those who read it.

for the most part i think this goal was accomplished (despite the few "personal-ad" type kinda posts that were written...all too frequently). now that a new chapter is gonna begin (well...at least until April 2007)...the birth of a new blog will begin.

"A Leaf in Habs Town" will journal my journey into...untrotten territories (ie. a place with french street names).

ttyl.
brb.
afk.
easy.

oh...and what do you call a bone that lies a lot???
a FIBula....har har har. =D

2006-11-15T14:22:00.000-05:00

Redeem

read this off a former teacher's site...

"In an attempt to simplify my life, I made the decision to shut down my Xanga site. I had initially started that site to join the blogring for my church and get to know people better in an informal manner (which was accomplished). It was also a great way to get reconnected with people from my past, esp. from back home. But what started out as a good intention turned into something that I found myself spending too much time doing, and with only 24 hrs. in a day (and who knows how many more years on this earth), I realized that there must be a better use of my time.

Another reason I made this decision was I saw how the desire for comments, to be visited, etc. became a temptation to win the approval of man (i.e. fear of man), and become self-absorbed. This is something that I know is revealed in other areas of my life, but I've been challenged this month to reassess not only my attitude toward things, but also how I've been spending my time."

Ephesians 5:15-17
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

...it really convicted me, i truly needa re-evaluate my motives...why i do the things i do...

Soli Deo Gloria

2006-11-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

Unknown

will be praying for you <3

2006-11-13T14:47:00.000-05:00

Hero

evangelism is a lifestyle...i always thought that worship was a lifestyle, but then...it makes sense that evangelism would be too. evangelism at the core of it...is essentially one beggar showing another beggar where the bread is.

lifestyle = worship + evangelism

after hearing their concert at RHCBC a few weeks back, the band from CTI ministries really inspired me to get better musically...and spurred in me a sudden urge to play the electric. i once was told that...music is the universal language, it can communicate all sorts of emotions and stories. is this a calling?

as an aside, the following comic strips foretell what life will be like in 8 years (for me at least):

ah...it'll be good times indeedio.

2006-11-07T18:20:00.000-05:00

Might Have Ben Hur
[Switchfoot]

Everything I know tells me she's everything that I could hope for.
Everything I know tells me I can't let her walk away.
I took my time to find the words.
I hoped she'd feel the same.

'Cause I want someone to share my smile.
To share the pain.
To be there when the sea turns gray.
To share the joy for better or worse,
And I thought that it might have been her.

Wonder if she knows the way I saw her soul light up my life.
Wonder if she knows of the pain I feel tonight.
I took my time to find the words,
I hoped she'd feel the same.

----

i got a lil' bit bored of studying, so...

har har har, *snort*

2006-11-01T19:15:00.000-05:00

Asleep

diggin' this song...fightin' the struggle. when will i wake up?

Comatose - Skillet

i hate feeling like this
i'm so tired of trying to fight this
i'm asleep and all i dream of
Is waking to You
Tell me that You will listen
Your touch is what i'm missing
And the more i hide i realize i'm slowly losing You

Comatose
i'll never wake up without an overdose of You

i don't wanna live
i don't wanna breathe
'les i feel You next to me
You take the pain i feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
i don't wanna sleep
i don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real

i hate living without You
Dead wrong to ever doubt You
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how i adore You
Oh how i thirst for You
Oh how i need You

these guys are probably the most influential band (besides Capstone) in shaping the way i play.

[Warning: video below is kinda cheese and slightly violent, just close your eyes and listen to the song for the faint of heart] =)

"Therefore i do not run like a man running aimlessly; i do not fight like a man beating the air. No, i beat my body and make it my slave so that after i have preached to others, i myself will not be disqualified for the prize." [1 Cor 9:26-27]

2006-10-25T15:44:00.000-04:00

Boast

so i've been playin' squash this term with some biochem buddies (they're newbies) and i've quite enjoyed wiping their egos on the squash courts during our sessions. whenever they have a glimmer of hope that they might just pull a comeback...i shatter their dreams with a gut-wrenching drop shot. it's a great workout, but i haven't improved much in terms of skill.

anywho, so today one of my buddies decided to bring his buddy (who plays squash for fun and ranks #2 at various tournaments) to play...so i'm like...whatever, #2 in tournaments...psshhh, i can take him.

so i take him on.

and i got whooped. 9-0, 9-0, 9-1 kinda whooped. after the first game...i realized if i could even get one point off of him, i'd be a happy man. so he gave me a point in the last game. but wowsers, playing him really humbled me and brought me down to earth. it was kinda ironic...cause today i finally learned how to boast in squash (a move requiring the user to pop the ball off the side wall)...when in fact, i had nothing to boast about (did i mention that this friend played me with BOTH his shoelaces untied? apparently he only ties them up when he plays with serious players).

reminded me of a passage i read the other day:

"If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, do not boast over those branches. If you do, consider this: You do not support the root, but the root supports you. You will say then, "Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in." Granted. But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either." [Romans 11:17-21]

dang-diggity-doodad.

not gonna take it for granted.

-----

on a tangential:

ok, this is so good that i had to share. below are 3 links to Ravi's Q&A session in Seattle...man alive, brain food galore. i challenge you to listen to them.

Q and A Part 1
Q and A Part 2
Q and A Part 3

2006-10-24T23:09:00.000-04:00

Inside

feelin' rather defeated
the grace within me depleted
avalanche of lust abound
sin and temptation all around

through the darkness i can't see
there's actually a way out for me
as my eyes gets cleared of haze
i see a figure upon my gaze

it's the figure of a Man
glowing forth with outstretched hands
"Follow Me, and take My yoke."
He cleansed my sins as He spoke

Grace Amazing renewed me through
His blood atoned me, made anew
"i'll try not to stumble." i replied
"Faith up," He said, "I'm by your side."

---

2006-10-23T20:29:00.000-04:00

Purposeful

i used to think...that once i get a gf/wife i'd be really involved in ministry, go on culinary tours around the world, participate in short/long term missions trips, try and cook exotic foods...essentially, what i thought was that when i got a gf/wife...i'd start LIVING. slowly through the years, God's been teaching me that life starts now...where i am...i need to be Single and Purposeful. life doesn't start when i meet that fair maiden, life starts WAY before.

it doesn't sound as eloquent typed, but man alive did it hit the spot when i came to the realization of this revelation.

another lesson i'm hesitant to learn...is giving up the pen of my love life to the ultimate Lover. i wanna let Him write my Love Story...the God story. too many times i've tried to take the pen and scribble...and the story turns out worse than those limericks you read in public toilet stalls. it's hard...but i'm gonna let go...

2006-10-17T21:59:00.000-04:00

Up

the razor wind cuts deeply
subliming my skin and all that's within me
veins pumping apathetic blood
with commotions around me, useless worldly flood

the waves of injustice washes ever so close to home
tearing away at the faith, Christ my cornerstone
just wanting to let go, and go with the flow
be like everyone else around me that i know

as my footings begin to slip
the rope of grace caught me at the tip
my grip tightens
adrenaline within me heightens

"Nobody fights lone battles."
The voice inside me rattles...
"My grace is sufficient in your weakness..."
"...give me your hand, I'll teach you meekness."

with one huge heave i went up the cliff
the air so much fresher, as i sniff
the wind not longer piercing, but a gentle breeze
my soul flowing, no longer in eternal freeze

with renewed strength, i vow to fight
shield in hand and Holy Spirit might
though the trek ahead will be filled with fallings
i'll never forget the Voice that saved me, calling

-----

aside: i don't think i can stay "un-sappy" very long...especially after watching this video...

2006-10-14T21:19:00.000-04:00

Classless

dang, today i realized that i'm a pretty darn self-absorbed person when i eat. i get quite carried away in enjoying the food...i don't realize the needs of the people around me. i'm more selfish than salted fish (hahaha, get it? "sel-fish"..."salt-fish"). and i'm lame.

and i also realized that sometimes i say kinda rude and obnoxious things for the sake of entertainment. i needa be more edifying in my speech and actions.

please kick me if i ever say things that offend you. seriously.

on another note, was listening to one of my favourite sermon series earlier this week by voddie baucham (instead of studying)... and was reminded that:

A husband is to lead in the Word (Ephesians 5:26).

A husband is to lead in righteousness (Ephesians 5:27).

A husband is to lead in selflessness (Ephesians 5:28-30).

A husband is to lead in intimacy (Ephesians 5:31).

i wanna be batting at least a .750 (instead of .000) before i start pursuing.

2006-10-03T21:48:00.000-04:00

Uncertain

haven't a clue what the future holds
haven't a desire to find out or try
as long as i'm always tumbling after
into His arms i'll draw ever so nigh

Tumbling After [Starfield]

The other day while I was driving home my world was shaken
It occurred to me that I had left too many risks untaken
I'm always sitting here just waiting for a revelation
Is it ever gonna come?

All this searching yet my destiny is still unfound
Makes me realize this world will always let me down
So it seems that the only hope I ever had
Was everything that You are

I'm falling down
Tumbling after You
I'm overwhelmed
Tripping over simple truth
In all I've found
There's nothing that's more beautiful
Than what I've found in You

You could always see right through the front I'd offer You
Not believing my excuses, waiting for the truth
When You could have turned Your back
And walked away from me
You, You picked me up instead

So we'll turn another page and change the way I look at You
And maybe I'll begin to understand what You went through
Not content to leave me wandering and unaware
You took my hand instead
Yeah, You lead me to the edge

You're everything that I ever needed
Now I wanna believe this time
That You would love me
That You would say I'm Yours, I'm Yours, I'm Yours

2006-10-01T15:17:00.000-04:00

Gel

since the days of halo14, i've never played on a team where i've gelled as much as i have this past weekend. what a blessed opportunity it is to serve in such a capacity and with such mighty warriors. my tearducts kept getting weird sensations whenever we played this song...maybe cause it humbles me, maybe cause it's surreal...or maybe cause it's just grace amazing...

Always [Hillsong]

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might know Your majesty?
Is Your voice upon the wind,
is everything I know marked with my Maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me, let me see Your face.
Ever I will seek You
Cause all You are is all I want, Always
Draw me close in Your arms, oh God
I wanna be with You

Can I feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You capture me again.
Let the earth resound with praise,
can You hear as all creation lives to glorify One Name?

2006-09-27T10:01:00.000-04:00

comatose

"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus." [Romans 3:21-26]

Rebirthing - Skillet

Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in
I've died
Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love wanna live for You
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
Rebirthing now
I wanna live my life wanna give You everything

2006-09-26T10:24:00.000-04:00

Awhile

being in co-op has its disadvantages. people you meet in first year...you may never see again...or at least for many a terms. thus i was pleasantly surprised to see familiar faces once again across campus from first year calculus. catch up may be brief, but it's good to know they're doing well. people come and people may go, but as Christians, it's that brief moment of interaction we have with people that'll either trip them closer to the flames of hell or prod them ever so nearer to the gates of heaven.

2006-09-25T17:40:00.000-04:00

Intercession

in relation to the past post, i think i've finally came to some foggy conclusions as to what to do...all thanks to Ravi's talk. if you're interested, below are the two links...it's a two part sermon, the music in the background is kinda fromage, but the message is fantastical.

I, Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah
Part 1
Part 2

this will be my last sappy post for a while...i think. also, an era is about to come to pass. i shall no longer use any more pick-up lines from here on out. the torch will be passed onto future generations. old-folgies like me needa know their role and sit on the rockers. but fear not, i've come up with my all-time favourite situational pick-up lines for your viewing pleasure (credits given in brackets)...may the cheese be with you...

If you wanna start a conversation, use...

1) "Excuse me fair maiden, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? *wait for slight pause* Enough to BREAK THE ICE. Hi! My name is Mr. Desperate." [FL]

2) "Do you believe in love at first sight...or do you want me to walk by again?" [KC]

3) "Sorry, I seem to have lost myself in your eyes...can you give me the directions to your heart?"

4) "Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me."

If you wanna make 'em swoon...

1) "If beauty was a drop of water, you would be the ocean."

2) "Everything about you is perfect...except your lips. They're not touching mine."

3) "If I could be anything in the world...I would be your tears. Borne in your eyes, living on your cheeks, and dying on your lips" [AY]

4) "If I get a nickel for every girl I see as pretty as you...I'd still only be left with 5 cents." [AY]

If you wanna get slapped or kicked in the groin...

1) "Yo baby, is your dad a baker? Cause you've got HOT buns!" [SK]

2) Count shoulders with her. Then proceed to give her a gift. [JC]

3) Show her the bunny trick.

4) "Are those astronaut pants you're wearing? Cause your legs are out of this world!" [AY]

Seasonal

1) "Can I have a picture of you? Yeah, I wanna show Santa Claus exactly what I want for Christmas."

Dinner

1) "You know in the Bible, how it says: Give food to the hungry and water to the thirsty? How about dinner some time?"

Timeless classics. Timeless indeed. I can't even count the number of bruises I've gotten from using these lines.

Now that childish things are left behind, I wanna become a M.O.P (man of prayer). I wanna be like Isaac to Rebekah. Oh man...this is something only the Spirit can do.

"I have met many girls who have turned my head...but I haven't found one that turned my heart..." [BC]

2006-09-19T19:59:00.000-04:00

abideth

i remember awhile back when i would make up a list of requirements/traits that i looked for in a future wife...then i'd compare it to my friends' lists and proceed to give 'em suggestions of who to hook up with. albeit no one listened to my advice (probably a good idea), it was still fun making fun of 'em.

as i've matured (well...not really, but let's say hypothetically i did), i think my list has drastically changed relative to the one(s) i've previously made.

WHAT I NOW LOOK FOR IN A FUTURE WIFE

Physically:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

Emotionally:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

Spiritually:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

"What in the boiled beets and cabbages is this list?" you may ask, "It's blank!". Ah, yes...it's blank indeed, and i'm not using invisi-text. why the blankness? cause something i've learned thru these past few years is that...sometimes it's better not to have expectations, nor to make plans. whenever i'd make plans to do something, i'd usually get a curve-ball thrown in or a wrench would find its way inside the gears (for recent example, see: Meat for the Pneumatos Retreat). thus i've concluded, it's best to let God decide what is best. this isn't to say that i'll become a lazy-buttocks and never plan again, no, rather...it is trusting that admist the plans, God may have something else better in mind. something to challenge, something to ignite, something...new.

"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." [John 15:5]

2006-09-12T10:04:00.000-04:00

discipline

first time living without housemates or roommates has been quite the challenge. it's weird coming back from class to...nothing...waking up to find...no one...eating dinner with...oneself. but perchance it is in the confinement of one's solitude that one finds his true character. when the masks are peeled off and there's no one to impress, the analysis of the heart becomes clearer.

discipline is the word that keeps resonating. the little things, the big things, and all the things in between. don't ask for tasks equal to your strength, ask for strength equal to your tasks. 610.

2006-08-31T12:04:00.000-04:00

summer of lurve

there were more hook-ups this summer than a haggle of hooks hooked onto hooked hangers. cupid probably got some arrows on wholesale and decided to shoot 'em all before the expiry date. i, unfortunately, too, have been dumb-struck by one of them arrows. i'm not sure if words can do justice to describe her beauty. at first sight, i knew that we had a special bond, like that of foot fungus and toe jam. behold...

yes, i couldn't believe it either when i had my first bite...sterling steaks are probably the most affordable and delicious steak for a student's budget. i still whole-heartedly believe that Kobe beef is the best (albeit i've never tried it), but sterlings are second to none. the marbling is very thorough and the texture is a tender cross between a filet and a prime. it brings me tears of happiness, even as i type this.

i aorta you, ms. sterling steak.

de-briefing summer:
textbooks
kerygma/pneumatos
men's night/sausage fests/numerous bbq's
game's night
summerlicious
minor prophets
wild at heart
cooking classes
many-a-birthdays
finally had the guts to talk to
bon echo
algonquin
cottage
rrsp
relatively cheap gas
tehillah
...(and more to come)

2006-08-17T22:07:00.000-04:00

Flint. Fuel. Fire.

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. "He that will lose his life, the same shall save it," is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. The paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the seas may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice. He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to live, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine." G.K. Chesterton

2006-08-07T20:34:00.000-04:00

A battle to fight.
An adventure to live.
A beauty to rescue.

have you ever read a book, and like...the author uses your name...but he's not talking about you...but you can relate to the person the author's talking about...?

check it:

There is nothing so inspiring to a man as a beautiful woman. She'll make you want to charge the castle, slay the giant, leap across the parapets. Or maybe, hit a home run. One day during a Little League game, my son Samuel was so inspired. He likes baseball, but most boys starting out aren't sure they really have it in them to be a great player. Sam's our firstborn, and like so many firstborns he is cautious. He always lets a few pitches go by before he takes a swing, and when he does, it's never a full swing; every one of his hits up till this point were in the infield. Anyway, just as Sam steps up to bat this one afternoon, his friend from down the street, a cute little blonde girl, shows up along the first-base line. Standing up on tiptoe she yells out his name and waves to Sam. Pretending he doesn't notice her, he broadens his stance, grips the bat a little tighter, looks at the pitcher with something fierce in his eye. First one over the plate he knocks into center field. A man wants to be the hero to the beauty. [W@H]

i've tried being like the said character in the excerpt in the past, but my hits always stay in the in-field. so if i ever hit a HR after a fair maiden cheers for me, i know i must pursue her like a banchee with an orange stuck to his left ear-lobe.

man alive, last night's sausage-fest was brilliant. 200 wings. XBox 360, GameCube, Poker, testosterone...what more can you ask for?

2006-07-25T16:57:00.000-04:00

Tardy.

the right thing, at the wrong time...is still the wrong thing. not only must i work on the motivation behind my actions, i need to work on the timing of it as well. too much haste, it may cause hurt. too slow, a blessed opportunity forgone.

when God asks us to do something, and we put it off till later...it's a sin. delayed obedience...is disobedience. i must learn and discern between Godly timing and manly timing. inactivity may sometimes be the best activity.

alas, i must wait. 730.

Belated in action
Retarded in thought
Self-seeking means
Were all that I sought

I thought I could do it
All on my own
Have the cake and eat it
But then I was shown

Sometimes it's better
To not eat at all
Counting the cost
As my frozen heart thaws

Still a long ways
From attaining that joy
One day I'll grow up
No longer a boy

I'm learning to breathe
A breath that's anew
No more wrong-doing
No viewpoints skewed

Though belated in action
Still retarded in thought
But am becoming the man
His atoning blood bought

2006-07-19T21:24:00.000-04:00

Uno.

sometimes...i do things for the wrong reason. actually...a lot of times...i do things for the wrong reason. it's not so much as the act itself that digusts me, but rather, the motivation behind it. that desire to put up a front when you know that's not really who you are inside. the fascade and playmaking, the superficiality of it all...pure hypocrisy. personally, this usually happens when there's that certain particular unique individual that one wants to serenade and woo...

then i'm reminded,

life's a stage...and there's only an audience of One.

[john 4:23-24]

2006-06-30T22:41:00.000-04:00

"Eve was created within the lush beauty of Eden's garden. But Adam, if you'll remember, was created outside the Garden, in the wilderness." [W@H]

"Adventure, with all its requisite danger and wildness, is a deeply spiritual longing written into the soul of man. The masculine heart needs a place where nothing is prefabricated, modular, nonfat, zip lock, franchised, on-line, microwavable. Where there are no deadlines, cell phones, or committee meetings. Where there is room for the soul." [W@H]

i'm so gung-ho about doing somethin' more now...no more satisfactory living, i don't just wanna survive, i wanna LIVE. there's so much out there to do, explore, try ...what's holding me back? nothing but the menial chains of complacency, cowardice, and comfort. one of my goals is to go on a culinary tour to eat around Europe, Asia, and North America. and i also wanna play catcher at one of the softball games. and to try out every restaurant that offers summerlicious/winterlicious. and to grow a beard. and go camping "roughin' it" style. and i wanna help out with Caravan Ministries in Tijuana again. and i wanna...leave you with some concluding thoughts from Switchfoot...

the tension is here
between who you are
and who you could be
between how it is
and how it should be

2006-06-18T20:02:00.000-04:00

credit be given where credit be due

unfortunately, because of some confusion, i have to admit that authorship of the post from Friday June 16, 2006 cannot be accredited to me. i have not such wits and vivid imaginations to conger up the writing from the aforementioned date. the true writer of the post is the man whom will have 40 less dollars this coming friday.

in other news, i'm really excited to read Wild At Heart. just reading the back-cover gave me warm-fuzzies.

2006-06-17T20:26:00.000-04:00

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken...Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket...it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
Clive Staples Lewis

2006-06-16T08:58:00.000-04:00

sometimes you wake up in the morning and its a beautiful day. yawn, stretch, scratch yourself... and before you know it, you'e 30 minutes late with scratch marks all over your body.

in the elevator you bump into ms right. the bad news is she's 45, has dentures and has a secret little pedophile crush on you. the good news is that her ridiculously pretty 20 year old niece was in town. this ti-cat lover had it all: big brown eyes, long flowy hair. and oh my goodness, she's mixed. this little one was a head turner yes she was...

but i digress. anyways, the three of you stand awkwardly in the elevator with you and said pretty girl exchanging a few longing glances at another (i guess chicks do dig scars...) and ms right was staring intently at she was licking her chops.

anyways, we reach the parking floor.... and only you and the pretty girl walk out. apparently ms right's metal leg was magically fused to the elevator door. you later learn that said pretty girl aced metal shop and carries a blowtorch around in the hopes that she'll meet a pretty boy.

and today, she found you. and so with ms right looking on lustfully, you turn back, give her the wink and the gun (hey, she's gonna be stuck there a while. might as well give her something to think about), put your arms around the pretty girl, and embrace as the door closes and the elevator crashes to oblivian.

so what was the point of that story? just to say that its a beautiful day, and i'm one step closer to meeting ms right......'s niece. and yes ma'am i'm waiting and i'm prepping myself. i even have a workout regiment that's preparing me for you.

3 sets of 2 - bleach.
see... this way, i'll already have habituated myself from the outside world and when you arrive, you will have my undivided attention... after you break my computers and force me to wear a dog leash around my neck

3 sets of 50 - push ups
well you know, someone's gotta have boobs in the family. and seeing as how you're part asian... well we have a 50-50 chance of... oh dang, i didn't just say that.

1 set of 1 - all bran
i'm keeping my body regulated and flowing. livin the good life and waiting for you to come to make it great.

in the famous worlds of squall to rinoa, "i'll be waiting for you"

2006-05-31T21:33:00.000-04:00

hmmm...being in a romantic relationship...being committed to one individual...which hopefully will lead to marriage. it seems like the majority of people around me are either in one, gonna be in one, or looking to be in one. i think i'm at an age where it's like..."hey God, i think...you know...i might be about ready for my Eve to enter my life"...kinda deal. but alas, nay seems to be the answer i keep getting.

once upon a time, four bano brothers (aw, bc, kc, sh) decided to make a pact for singleness...long story short, the author of this blog is gonna be the apparant winner of the pact. except...when you win this pact...you actually lose. indeed, when you win you lose, and when you lose you win.

whenever i hear your voice, there is movement in my bowel
it is a movement of love, not because what i ate was foul
an expression of passion, every turn and every growl
to the girl whose name starts with a consonant or a vowel

2006-05-28T16:37:00.000-04:00

just read this excerpt from Donald Miller's "Searching for God Knows What"...

"I don't want the perfect girl, really. You figure every girl is beautiful, you know. It's our arrogance that makes us think one is better than the other."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I don't know. I was just thinking about girls the other day and wondering, you know, why some girls just get ignored and others get worshipped, and I really got this feeling in my chest like all of that wasn't true. Can't be true. Doesn't make sense. Like maybe if you can't love a girl who isn't all perfect, then you can't really love a girl who is. Not for real. Not unconditionally."

...

"You know what I want in a woman, Paul?"

"What's that"

"A friend. A true friend, someone who knows me and loves me anyway. You know, like when I'm through putting my best foot forward, she's still there, still the same. I meet these people and it's all conditional, like you were saying. They are in it for themselves. They are friends with you because you fit the image they want to portray. It's a selfish thing. Do you know what I mean? I'd like to get a girl who doesn't think like that. Don't get me wrong. She's got to be proud of her husband, I know that. I don't mind trying to make it easy on her in that way. But all in all, there's got to be some sort of soul mate thing going on. That's gonna take work, I think. There are some people in this world who love their spouse because they provide them with the life they want, and there are others who love their spouse just because they've chosen to, or because love has chosen them, or whatever. Something way back endeared one to the other and they made a decision to lock into it."

...

"I'm just saying I want her to love me at my worst."

and i wanna be able to love her at her worse...love her with the warts and all.
wow. i feel the sap coming back.

2006-05-28T16:01:00.000-04:00

he looks
she looks
their eyes meet

captivated by passion
motivated by love
driven by desire

eyes locked
lips sealed
arms entangled

passion is unleashed
love is in the air
desire flares its nostrils

then he farts
she farts
and they faint

the end.

2006-05-27T01:00:00.000-04:00

to k.c. and b.c.:

Auberge du Pommier. summerlicious. dinner.

=D

[a passage from a post 2 yrs ago]

When the prophets complained loudly about God's hiddenness, God didn't argue. He agreed with them, and then explained why he was keeping his distance. To Jeremiah, God expressed his disgust with what he saw in Israel: dishonest gain, the shedding of innocent blood, oppression, extortion. He covered his eyes, he said, refusing even to see hands spread out in a posture of prayer, for those hands were covered wih blood. To Ezekiel, God explained that once Israel's rebellions had passed a certain point, he simply "gave them over" to their sins. He withdrew, letting the people choose their own way and bear the consequences. To Zechariah, he said, "When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen."

My slowness to act is a sign of mercy, not of weakness.

When God did not punish quickly, the people of Israel presumed he had lost his power: "He will do nothing! No harm will come to us; we will never see sword or famine." They were wrong. God's restraint marked an interlude of mercy, a time of probation he was granting Israel. Reluctantly, like a parent out of options, God resorted to punishment.

2006-05-25T21:55:00.000-04:00

wow, awkward city...one way ticket.
just found out my co-coop-student reads my blog =)
uh oh, i hope she forgives me...heh
yea, i'm sorry...again!

i'll try not to be a huge jerktard in the future =D

2006-05-23T20:02:00.000-04:00

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my vision
O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me
Save that Thou art
Thou my best thought
In the day and the night
Waking or sleeping
Thy presence my light

Be Thou my wisdom
Be Thou my true word
I ever with Thee
And Thou with me Lord
Be Thou my breastplate
My sword for the fight
Be Thou my armour
And be Thou my might

Riches I heed not
Nor man's empty praise
Thou my inheritance
Now and always
Thou and thou only
Thou first in my heart
High King of heaven
My treasure Thou art
My treasure You are

High King of heaven
When battle is done
Grant heaven's joy to me
Bright heaven's Sun
Christ thou my own heart
Whatever befall
Still be my vision
My ruler of all
My ruler of all

Visions cannot be taught...it must be caught.
God, let me catch the coat-tail of Your vision.

2006-05-08T19:47:00.000-04:00

dang diggity donuts

after a week of textbook editin'...i know that cubicle work ain't somethin' that'll tickle my fancy. sittin' on my glutes for 8 hours a days is ridiculously tiring. i also interact very little with people as most of my work involves...well, the textbook. i've become quite quaint with Holt Environmental Science, yet i do not even know the guy's name in the cubicle across me.

...and i'm also beginning to lose my ability to socialize. sometimes when i try to talk, i'd get tongue-tied and slurred. havin' very little human interaction and sunlight has resurrected my hermit state similar to that during final exams.

i foresee myself gainin' 50 pounds this summer and making 14...inanimate friends.

the only ray of hope i see is...softball...cause that's the only sport where fat-mans rule and non-artificial UV light aboundeth.

also haven't been really inspired to write/do anything poetically mesmerizing either. no fair maiden to spark that Haiku nor ribs succulent enough to make me eat it with retributive justice.

therefore i will combine some of my favourites rhymes together to make...a poem never poemed before.

Organs

Your smiles make my heart fart,
Your eyes make my liver quiver.
Your voice hearkens my bladder gladder,
Basically, when i see you...i wanna throw up.

The End.

2006-04-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

tetelestai...

...3A ended in an abrupt and anti-climatic manner.

this summer will prove to be a challenge, i can sense it.

dust.

2006-03-20T01:52:00.000-05:00

Dreams...

...passions, ambitions. i used to have these things, but no more.

i dreamt that one day i would be a food connoisseur and be able to travel the world on a culinary tour. now i'm just happy if i could get by the day with a bowl of ramen noodles.

i was passionate about serving and helping the needy. now i'm just happy to blend in with the crowd and remain inactive.

i once was ambitious in doing my best and not settling for less. now i'm just happy to pass and scrape by the daily grinds.

the flames of life is easily quenched by the waters of mediocrity. but oh so comfortable is that pillow of complacency. how painless it is to just meet the status quo. being average has its appeal...you're not at the bottom of the bucket as to feel bad about yourself, but you're not so good that it goes to your head. how can one stand out if there's always someone better than you? can anyone stand out and be counted at all?

i argue, no matter what we do we will only be average and sublime. there's no escaping the fence-sitting mentality of this world by our own powers. thankfully there is One who is more significant than us to make us more than mere monotomy.

...we were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?

2006-03-12T01:52:00.000-05:00

i have a confession to make.
i really enjoy watching cartoons on YTV...YuGiOh...Dragonball...and just recently, Naruto.

Now, i think cartoons have the best romantic storylines ever (see Full Metal Alchemist). it's like a real soap opera, but not real...and not really an opera. but soaps are sometimes involved.

why do i lurve watchin' Naruto oh so very much? is it cause of the fighting? the cool artworks and effects? nay, it's cause it's a story full of geometric love triangles and romantic plot webs. as a biochemist...i have a non-existent love life which equates to living viscariously through the love lives of animated characters.

so the story that i'm trying to follow on Naruto...is the relationship between that of Hinata and Naruto. see, Hinata is a fair maiden who is madly in lurve with Naruto...yet Naruto (being a thick headed dood like all doods are) does not know of this or have the slightless clue. i am quite eager to see how the plot unfolds...will Hinata have the courage to confess her lurve to Naruto? will Naruto opens his eyes and see the fair maiden in front of him?

then i started wondering...

hmmm...i wonder if i'm like naruto and there's a super duper cool fair maiden that has an uber crush on me (probability of this happening is...z-e-r-o) but i'm too dense to realize it? or maybe...i'm like Hinata and have a super duper uber crush on some girl but am too chicken to tell her.

shallow posts speak to an inner struggle of a deeper magnitude.

2006-03-11T00:47:00.000-05:00

nothing deep, spiritual or thought-provocating...
...just some observations from a personal experience...

i have mad respect for fair maidens that use the razor.
lemme elaborate.

once upon a time when i was in gr. 8...i got my first electronic shaver. it's been with me thru thick and thin, good times and bad times, we've even travelled the continent together. However my Electronic Shaver (whom we'll refer to as 'essie' from now on) kicked the bucket earlier this week.

it was a brilliantly beautiful morning when i woke up and greeted essie with a smile. but this morning, something was different...essie was not behaving essie's normal self. at first it was the clanking noise against the mesh screen, then a high pitched scream, i tried to calm essie down but essie's temperament flared. she stopped breathing. i desperately tried to save essie, CPR, PRC, HPLC...but to no avail. a few swirls later, essie went game over. yes, just like that...a relationship of 8 years ended abruptly. quietly i shed a few tears and gave essie a farewell kiss.

i didn't know of a store in UW to get a new essie...so i thought, hey...let's go with the good ol' gilette razor...it can't be that hard to use.

yea, i was wrong.

see...i prided myself as a manly man because a man's fortitude is measured by the frequency at which he shaves. and i shave everyday. i get my 5 o'clock shadow at 3pm. so i buy a razor...borrowed some shaving cream and i was off to my merry ways. as i gracefully took the first stroke across my mark of manliness....i felt every epidermal cell on my face tear, ripe and crackle into a billion pieces. it was the sensation of a thousand tweezers pulling simultaneously. i took another stroke, this time it hurt even more. i'm like...'interesting...maybe if i keep going my skin will de-sensitize'. it didn't.

at the end of the excursion, i was left with uneven patches, blisters and a broken pride. i'm a man and i cannot master the proper use and functionality of a non-electric razor. it was almost as sad as the moment that essie left me.

so hence...i have much respect and admiration for fair maidens who are womanly woman and shave everyday with a razor and not cut themselves or have uneven patches. they shave their arms, legs, moustaches and armpits...and that's a lot of surface that they're covering and subjecting to the 'gilette' torture. see, i'm glad i'm a guy cause i don't needa shave my legs (hair on legs = another mark of manliness).

imma gonna get me a new essie asap...no more razors...and waxing is definately outta the question.

and the princess and the prince lived happily ever after.
the end.

2006-03-09T23:56:00.000-05:00

"Learning of our weakness teaches us to lean on God's strength."

Goals:

1. i want to get to know ______ better.
2. i want to be better at ______ .
3. i need to be more like _______ in all that i do.
4. i want to be a better _______ and a better ______.
5. i want to let _______ how i ______ about ______ .

i lurve settin' ambiguously specific goals. It's so cryptic i don't even know what they are.

2006-03-06T19:48:00.000-05:00

Learnin' to Breath...

i can safely say that the past few weeks have been miserable...as i felt my spiritual state waste away like tofu ice cream in the sun. the past little while i did not enjoy life too much as i was being suffocated by the grip of academia...reports, exams, assignments, exams, reports, job search...i've truly lost sight of the main purpose in life. i focused on no one else besides my own studies. i couldn't even eat a meal without the constant reminder of a lurking task that i needed to do or another section that i had to study for.

it was this time that i reached the epitome of self-centeredness. caring about no one but myself. however, His grace broke thru.

yesterday during service, God used a fellow sister who was recently baptized to speak volumes to my state of stupidity. she told me that this was her first time participating in a (protestant) communion on communion sunday. in worship she beamed so radiantly...i could almost see God's love just through her smile. the excitement from her during communion was ridiculously contagious as she was so eager to participate.

i was like...wow, when was the last time i was this EXCITED to be in the presence of God and fellowshipping with other believers? when was the last time i was so JOYFUL that i couldn't contain my smile? it's been too long, a day without God feels like an eternity in darkness.

***

had a talk with housemate last night...it's not so much of us getting stronger to fight temptations...cause no matter how strong we become we'll still have weaknesses. it's more of...asking God to change our character...so that temptatious situations will lose its appeal...as our new character seeks Him solely.

***

turn this heart of stone into a heart of flesh.

"as deep cries out to deep."

2006-02-22T23:01:00.000-05:00

awesome song and awesome fight scene.

for some odd reason i'm really lookin' forward to this yr's softball season.

"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens." [Song of Songs 2:2]

one day i will have the courage.

2006-02-20T19:19:00.000-05:00

Grace and Love
[Kutless]

Many things in life are hard for me
Many things can pull us down
I don't understand why I do what I do
How could I take my eyes off You
After all You've done for me
And after all You've done for me

It's by Your grace and love I am saved
It's by Your grace and love You've forgiven me,
And by that love and grace, I'm amazed
It's by Your grace and love I am free
I am free

And it's by grace and love that I am free
I'll live with You eternally
I thank You Lord that I am free
I thank You Lord for loving me
I thank You Lord for dying upon the tree of Calvary
I thank You Lord for loving me
I thank You Lord for dying for me

Because it's by grace and love I am saved
It's by Your grace and love You've forgiven me,
And by that love and grace, I'm amazed
It's by Your grace and love I am free
I am free

Many things in life are hard for me
But by grace and love You've forgiven me
And by grace and love we are free

2006-02-14T21:22:00.000-05:00

just cause...

...it's that time of the year again.

someone to protect and to fight for.

2006-02-12T23:02:00.000-05:00

i think i have a thing for...

...animated fair-maidens.

2004 - Rinoa (FFVIII)
2005 - Winry (FMA)
2006 - Tifa (FFVII - Advent Children)

this is probably due to the consequence of my non-existent love life in the human realm, that i've decided to take myself into the pixelated world to explore romance. oh how many times i've put myself in the shoes of Squall, Ed and Cloud to woo the hearts of the maidens in distress. and how many times i've snapped back to reality realizing that...chicks probably don't dig blubber all that much.

frig, i sound like a pretty darn big dork right about now...

one day i will be
a man after God's own heart
until the goal is reached
this journey i shall start

though i may stumble
and i may fall
i've counted the cost
i'm giving it my all

pain and sorrow
death and strife
continual torment
of not having a wife

i count this all lost
compared to the prize
of knowing the cross
the cross of Jesus Christ

"We love because He first loved us." [1 John 4:19]

2006-02-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

oh Rinoa...

oh Tifa...

oh another person's name that starts with a consonant...

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." [Song of Songs 2:7b]

2006-02-03T10:02:00.000-05:00

Praise the Lord Hallelujah Thank God

and no, i don't owe anyone dinner.

Year 2006 has been a year of "firsts". What an interesting night last night was. i was merrily typing away on msn when all of a sudden, two drunk doods bursted thru my suite door and proceeded to hug me. i was like...get the sewage flux outta my room before i dis-equilibrate. they made some loud noises, spilt alcohol, opened a few cupboards and doors and left in a drunken frenzy. i thought nothin' of it till my housemate came home (who was just visiting a friend downstairs for like 5 mins) and noticed his laptop was gone.

i was like...manure on a stick, this is worse than titrating with nitric acid.

we go see the don and apparently these drunken doods entered other suites as well but stole their alcohol. so we call UW campus police.
it takes them a good hr to arrive. we investigate and got some potentially useful info.

the thing that struck me at this time was that my housemate was very calm. he had a sense of peace around him. we prayed and just pranced around and waited.

and waited.

then we decided to go to bed.

my housemate just finished reading a passage of Scripture and i had just started reading mine...when we heard a knock on the door.

they found the laptop, unharmed. wow, it was so crazy...it was like...after we reconciled, lifted it all up to God and just trusted Him...it came back.

This whole rendez-vous really got me thinking...where does my treasure lie? is it on earth where moth and dust destroy and thiefs can come in and destroy? or is it elsewhere for safe-keeping? do i have so much attachment to earthen things that i have lost sight of heaven?

i vow to never be attached to materialistic things as to allow it to strangle and suffocate my values in life.

"Hell is a state of mind - you never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind - is, in the end, Hell. But heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself. All that is fully real is Heavenly. For all that can be shaken will be shaken and only the unshakable remains." [C.S. Lewis in The Great Divorce]

2006-02-02T21:53:00.000-05:00

21

had a talk with ma' housemate the other day...i'mma gonna be 30 soon. yea...then i got quite sad and did some thinking. this suxxors like undercooked lima beans. what will i accomplish getting an education and a degree or whatnot? a job? a career perhaps? man, meaningless...everything is meaningless!

a man's life is like a vapour in the wind, a blade of grass...seasons come and seasons go. then man will be no more. what will i do that will last past this life? why work so hard and spend so much time on things that don't really matter in the long run? why persevere thru the stress? why bother living a life of integrity? why study when i can sleep?

it's all about character. that's the bottomline.

"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion for the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." [Ecc 12:13-14]

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work." [2 Tim 2:20-21]

The latter verse was the verse we did for devos during the Tijuana mission's trip. Oh how i wish i were there. it's truly the simple things in life that shames the complex. when you have nothing...God truly becomes your everything.

Let me have nothing Lord.

2006-02-01T10:02:00.000-05:00

How to remain single on Valentine's day...

...as i walked into the student life centre yesterday with my buddies, i was bombarded with an assorted array of flowers, gifts and lil' trinkets for your "loved" one on V-day. i was infinitessimally close to buying one of them long stemmed roses...until i realized, i haven't anyone to give it to. then i got depressed and decided to work on my physical biochem assignment for the rest of the afternoon to cheer myself up.

that got me thinking: with all this commercializing for V-day and the pressure mounting to give something to a certain someone...i've decided to come up with a strategy so that we will not fall into the temptation of buying random long stemmed roses for no reason.

just remain single.

yes, it's that simple. and here are five simpler ways to remain single for Valentine's Day:

5. pee in your pants. no ladies will stand 10 feet near you as you walk around with the aromatic smell of urea hanging around your pant legs.

4. use the line "If you were a booger, I'd pick you" on the girl you have a crush on, then proceed to pick a golden nugget outta your nose and hand it to her on a silver platter.

3. walk around in a bikini brief while sporting a unibrow. wink at anyone who decides to stare at you and proceed to blow a kiss.

2. eat lotsa beans the night before, then during your morning class sit next to a fair maiden and expel some CH4 and H2S biogas production that have accumulated overnight. then loudly proclaim that it was the fair maiden who did it.

1. be a NERK (nerd + jerk)...ie. if you're the author of this post you'll probably be single by default.

and we're done. beauty!

"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion for the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." [Ecclisiastes 12:13-14]

2006-01-29T22:17:00.000-05:00

What a profitable weekend...

...this was truly a blessed time, as well as a "de-stresser" time.

FRI: dinner with housemates at Jump! Cafe and Bar. Awesome food, relaxing atmosphere. i got Grilled Calamari with anchovies, capers, black olives and lemon brown butter, Seared Sea Scallops with butternut squash caponata, garlic rapini and vincotto, dessert was a Dark Chocolate Tart with espresso cream.

Afterwards got together with Mr. Kwan Chan for some sharing/catching up/chilling.
what a way to start off a weekend =)

SAT: Breakfast at IKEA with Emily, Esther and Mel. Good times chilling with three fair maidens. Then lunch with family at Asian Legends. MMmmmm...hot skillet beef...

Did some nerdy stuff in the afternoon. Got together at night with Kwan, Emily and Esther for some BBT. Beautiful time just chattin' and laughin' and then getting kicked outta the food court. Went to First Markham to see Abby for 5mins, cause she was too popular. Chilled more with Kwan (solid guy is he) and parted ways we went.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." [Proverbs 18:24]

SUN: Sunday service, reminded to be STILL broken. It's not a one-time thing but a life-time thing. Lunch with family was sweet. Got a call from Will saying Caleb was back in town...which means...hAlo14 meeting. Went to Montana's with Caleb, Will, Eric, Mike and Gab. Such an awesome time just getting together like the "good ol' days" sharing, updating each other on the happenings of our lives. Really challenged by the discussions we had. Soul searching. Then came home for dinner with family and back to the loo.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." [Proverbs 27:17]

This weekend really helped put my life back into perspective. In life, it's not all about school, marks, money, material stuff, the current snapshot of life...it's about the bigger picture, the grand scheme of things. how i have lost sight of the eternal causes this term. my BSc degree is meaningless, but my relationships with people is meaningful. the only investing i wanna do now is in people, time well spent.

"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son." [1 John 5:11]

2006-01-26T20:13:00.000-05:00

wow. third yr biochem is by far the hardest thus far. work piles up like cow manure at a pig's farm in kansas where they bbq chicken. temptation lurks at most corners, even corners five feet away. my patience runs thin, my selfishness arises valiantly, my concentration dwindles, school is making me into a heathen of a student.

despite all of this, i think i enjoy stresses, challenges, obstacles and trials to a point. it makes me wanna push myself to the limit...as t approaches infinity. i'mma gonna make like a sodium-potassium pump and go against the grain and be set apart.

but if i perish, i perish.

"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord." [Job 1:21]

2006-01-24T23:35:00.000-05:00

Setting Captives Free
J. Stroud

Great and simple men alike have known the horrid chains
Of sin's enslavement and defeat of struggle without gain.

This battle common though it takes daily casualties
And leaves the wounded living without hope of being free.

They walk in silent solitude behind their painted masks
And wallow in their private sins until somebody asks,

"Hey brother, how may I and these who know your desperate plight
Walk side by side with you in grace to end your pain and strife?"

We've known defeat and sorrow in this battle you now see,
But now we spend our lives instead in Setting Captives Free.

Your battlescars and stories of entrapment and of blame,
we know them all, we've lived them all, we understand the shame.

Step up and walk beside us now, we're going the same way
We're seeking life in Jesus Christ and trusting more each day

That He will change our hearts and minds so we might come to be
Ones who pass the truth along by Setting Captives Free.

"For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." [Deuteronomy 20:4]

2006-01-23T22:35:00.000-05:00

Blessedly blessed beyond belief

Housemates

bio-CHEM

PEOPLE(s)

SOL(diers) II

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." [Philippians 3:12]

2006-01-18T20:24:00.000-05:00

i realized...

...i think the best when i'm on the can. lemme explain. this is probably the only time of the day when i feel the most serene cause it's just me, my bowel movements and a freshly minted roll of toilet paper. during this sacred period of time, i have the least care in the world, and my mind is always clear to solve problems, specifically physics problem sets (involving projectiles and the periodic wave disturbance it causes on the pond). the gentle humming of the exhaust fan provides the perfect zen-like conditions for pondering, wondering and meditating. 9 times out of 10, when i go onto the can with a problem, i exit with the problem solved. so the next time someone asks you to solve a question...just tell them to "can it". har har har.

"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden." [Proverbs 30:18-19]

2006-01-13T19:12:00.000-05:00

man i'm such a nerdy loser. i can't believe i ordered the 722 series on "Love and Marriage" by Voddie Baucham. and i can't believe that it actually came today.

SOOOOO.

if anyone is interested (whether single, single and desperate, non-single, non-single and wanting to be single) in listening to some Godly teaching on "Love and Marriage", gimme a shout =)

two weeks of school has gone by. nothing exciting happened besides the awesomely visit from Mel, Em, Aids, Sammi and David! and eating grasshopper and maggot.

"Therein lies the power of temptation. You may fear that temptation will be too strong for you in this battle, but temptations honestly have no power at all without our own arrogant question." - Every Young Man's Battle

2006-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Another year has come and by
Joyful tears and painful cries
No matter what happened in the past
In light of eternity it won't last

Make this year the one to remember
All the way from January to December
Let this blessed light radiate within us
Declaring the Way Truth and Life that is Jesus

Amen.

2005-12-28T20:09:00.000-05:00

There was once a great and noble King whose land was terrorized by a crafty dragon. Like a massive bird of prey, the scaly beast delighted in ravaging villages with his fiery breath. Hapless victims ran from their burning homes, only to be snatched into the dragon's jaws or talons. Those devoured instantly were deemed more fortunate than those carried back to the dragon's lair to be devoured at his leisure. The King led his sons and knights in many valiant battles against the dragon.

Riding alone in the forest, one of the King's sons heard his name purred low and soft. In the shadows of the ferns and trees, curled among the boulders, lay the dragon. The creature's heavy-lidded eyes fastened on the prince, and the reptilian mouth stretched into a friendly smile.

"Don't be alarmed," said the dragon, as gray wisps of smoke rose lazily from his nostrils.

"I am not what your father thinks."

"What are you, then?" asked the prince, warily drawing his sword as he pulled in the reins to keep his fearful horse from bolting.

"I am pleasure," said the dragon. "Ride on my back and you will experience more than you ever imagined. Come now. I have no harmful intentions. I seek a friend, someone to share flights with me. Have you never dreamed of flying? Never longed to soar in the clouds?"

Visions of soaring high above the forested hills drew the prince hesitantly from his horse. The dragon unfurled one great webbed wing to serve as a ramp to his ridged back. Between the spiny projections, the prince found a secure seat. Then the creature snapped his powerful wings twice and launched them into the sky. The prince's apprehension melted into awe and exhilaration.

From then on, he met the dragon often, but secretly, for how could he tell his father, brothers or the knights that he had befriended the enemy? The prince felt separate from them all. Their concerns were no longer his concerns. Even when he wasn't with the dragon, he spent less time with those he loved and more time alone.

The skin on the prince's legs became calloused from gripping the ridged back of the dragon, and his hands grew rough and hardened. He began wearing gloves to hide the malady. After many nights of riding, he discovered scales growing on the backs of his hands as well. With dread he realized his fate were he to continue, and so he resolved to return no more to the dragon.

But, after a fortnight, he again sought out the dragon, having been tormented with desire. And so it transpired many times over. No matter what his determination, the prince eventually found himself pulled back, as if by the cords of an invisible web. Silently, patiently, the dragon always waited.

One cold, moonless night their excursion became a foray against a sleeping village. Torching the thatched roofs with fiery blasts from his nostrils, the dragon roared with delight when the terrified victims fled from their burning homes. Swooping in, the serpent belched again and flames engulfed a cluster of screaming villages. The prince closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to shut out the carnage.

In the pre dawn hours, when the prince crept back from his dragon trysts, the road outside his father's castle usually remained empty. But not tonight. Terrified refugees streamed into the protective walls of the castle. The prince attempted to slip through the crowd to close himself in his chambers, but some of the survivors stared and pointed toward him.

"He was there," one woman cried out, "I saw him on the back of the dragon." Others nodded their heads in angry agreement. Horrified, the prince saw that his father, the King, was in the courtyard holding a bleeding child in his arms. The King's face mirrored the agony of his people as his eyes found the prince's. The son fled, hoping to escape into the night, but the guards apprehended him as if he were a common thief. They brought him to the great hall where his father sat solemnly on the throne. The people on every side railed against the prince.

"Banish him!" he heard one of his own brothers angrily cry out.

"Burn him alive!" other voices shouted.

As the king rose from his throne, bloodstains from the wounded shone darkly on his royal robes. The crowd fell silent in expectation of his decree. The prince, who could not bear to look into his father's face, stared at the flagstones of the floor.

"Take off your gloves and your tunic," the King commanded. The prince obeyed slowly, dreading to have his metamorphosis uncovered before the kingdom. Was his shame not already enough? He had hoped for a quick death without further humiliation. Sounds of revulsion rippled through the crowd at the sight of the prince's thick, scaled skin and the ridge growing along his spine.

The king strode toward his son, and the prince steeled himself, fully expecting a back handed blow even though he had never been struck so by his father.

Instead, his father embraced him and wept as he held him tightly. In shocked disbelief, the prince buried his face against his father's shoulder.

"Do you wish to be freed from the dragon, my son?"

The prince answered in despair, "I wished it many times, but there is no hope for me."

"Not alone," said the King. "You cannot win against the dragon alone."

"Father, I am no longer your son. I am half beast," sobbed the prince.

But his father replied, "My blood runs in your veins. My nobility has always been stamped deep within your soul."

With his face still hidden tearfully in his father's embrace, the prince heard the King instruct the crowd, "The dragon is crafty. Some fall victim to his wiles and some to his violence. There will be mercy for all who wish to be freed. Who else among you has ridden the dragon?"

The prince lifted his head to see someone emerge from the crowd. To his amazement, he recognized an older brother, one who had been lauded throughout the kingdom for his onslaughts against the dragon in battle and for his many good deeds. Others came, some weeping, others hanging their heads in shame.

The King embraced them all.

"This is our most powerful weapon against the dragon," he announced. "Truth. No more hidden flights. Alone we cannot resist him."

*******

2005-12-28T00:02:00.000-05:00

Ordinary Life
Starfield

Take me and invade me
Make me someone new
Wake me from the dead
And break me with the truth

Move me and disturb me
Interrupt my peace
Tear open my heart
And pull me to my knees

There's a world outside
That is burning
While I'm turning blinded eyes
While I stand by

I won't survive
To live this ordinary life
I'm not alive
To live this ordinary life

And I will try
To see this world I live in
With Your eyes
To love this world You've given
With my life
To see this world I live in
With Your eyes
To love this world You've given
With my life

******

"A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." [John 10:10]

2005-12-27T14:33:00.000-05:00

fellow friendly friends, anyone gonna be free from January 27 - February 9, 2006?
cause...it's....WINTERLICIOUS!!!
oh babee

i'm thinkin' of going on the 27th-29th and the 3rd-5th.

Auberge du Pommier
Azure
Canoe (i really wanna try this one)
and possibly Oliver & Bonacini

so if anyone's...interested...we should go and book early...or else i'll be eating at a lot of tables for one.

********

"When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life. Even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God. Some tests seem overwhelming, while others you don't even notice. But all of them have eternal implications." [RW]

2005-12-24T11:54:00.000-05:00

Ages come and ages pass
For four months long the term has last
Friendships made now friendships gone
Farewell Campbell's, my soups, so long

"For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." [Colossians 1:16-17]

One week to pack, one week to chill
One week to eat, to my stomach's fill

man alive i'm really diggin' the new Love and Marriage series on 722
gaaaah, it's like...you want it, but you don't know where to get it. but then you know Where you should get It from. Tangibility is needed but not necessary.

I wanna pursue to become a man...worthy of a wife.

"More today than yesterday...more tomorrow than today."

2005-12-21T19:40:00.000-05:00

So today Campbell's took the co-op students out for lunch at RED LOBSTER.
My friendly friends, lemme tell you...it was a beauty of a meal. At first, I was hesistant as to what to get, if i should be conservative and order water with stale bread or go all out and get the Ultimate Feast. After conferring with a fellow co-worker, we decided to get the Ultimate Feast.

it came with a succulent broiled Maine Lobster Tail, tender Snow Crab Legs, scallops & lightly breaded Fried Shrimp. My goodness, best lunch this term. it also came with a salad and fries. i drank four ice teas. afterwards i had to pee like a banchee.

2 more days. for some reason, i don't feel sappy anymore. that wintery romantic feeling has escaped. i hope it'll last a while.

do you guys ever struggle with having the right motives when you serve others? sometimes i serve trying/hoping to impress that "person" so that the "person" will take note of me and regard me highly and we'll live happily ever after on lobster bisques.

i digress...and digest at the same time.

this post really has no purpose.
why am i even typing it.
i think i've probably burned 0.1 calories doing this.
suhweet.

2005-12-19T17:47:00.000-05:00

Wow, this song really brings back memories...gr. 8 grad. i remember during the "dance" after the grad ceremony my buddies 'n i stood around the punch table...drinking punch and joking about how funny it would be if we spiked the punch...with urine. Then we'd "follow" the girls we had crushes on, lookin' cool drinkin' our punch and flexin' our pipes (well...sorta). i think we probably forgot to put on b.o. protection cause the ladies kept moving away from us everytime we got close with our flexin' pipes. then my dad came and picked me up. the end.

so what was the purpose/moral of the story? there is none. but i sure could go for some punch right about now.

suhweet mutha' of pearls. 4 more days.
i think i'll miss the campbell guys, sorta. but yeah, it'll be good to do nth but chillin' and sleepin' in for a week before school starts.

dang, i really wish softball season was back again.
i think i've finally perfected the art of bench warmin'.

"Can I have a picture of you? I wanna show Santa Claus exactly what I want for Christmas."

2005-12-18T18:20:00.000-05:00

"Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object."

I really like this quote.

5 more days of wakin' up at 5 am!

2005-12-13T20:57:00.000-05:00

will i ever get to see her?
will our eyes ever meet?
will my lips quiver and tremble
whenever she speaks?

will she ever like me?
does she know who i am?
with the weight of a Polar Bear
she'll know i am sam

it does not matter
the way that she looks
inner beauty is important
who cares if she can't cook

God's way is much higher
than the ways of my own
wherever He leads me
the path need not be shown

so whether this Christmas
or many Christmas' to come
single or paired up
let His will be done

2005-12-04T20:02:00.000-05:00

If a picture is a thousand words...seven words is this:

"I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." [Galatians 2:20]

2005-12-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

hAlo14

it really made my week when william sent me this photo of us serving at Redeemer's College. memories rushed back, my mind flooded with the fellowship and fun we had. with brothers like these guys, it actually feels kosher to be single.

when i'm with these warriors...i feel both invincible yet weak at the same time. invincible cause i know God's on our side and that we're doing His will...but weak because on our own strengths nothing can be accomplished, it was all by His grace and all for His glory.

howard - always the servant, sacrificing his personal time and energy to transport us and our equipments to gigs and not once complaining.

steve - blunt, honest and genuine guy. always the one to light up the room with his smile and out-going charisma.

will - there's a sense of intensity around him when he serves. his quiet servitude speaks volumes. always there to crack wise (and Godly) comments

eric - our one-man AV crew. i'm not sure what type of extortion method we used to make him stay, but he did. always the one to give constructive criticism. thanks for not wearing earplugs when we sounded like...poo poo.

caleb - full of energy and creativity. the man knows how to live life to its fullest. always the guy to spice things up and to make fun of me.

mike - the fearless leader. he has passion, commitment and a vision. never relenting even in the darkest hours. inspiration to us all. always starts practice with the word, "Question..."

Practice saturday afternoon at 2pm. remember to eat lunch before you come.

***************

You know it's time for us to step it up
Another level now 'cause we finished warming up
So we rise up elevate to maintain fill up with octane
And fan the flame we regain all the names
The enemy took away
And like a green beret we will lead the way
Into battle so have no fear we will draw near
So that we can persevere like a gondolier
We headed straight to the top nonstop
Set shop at the top of the Rock
You'll feel the aftershock after we rock the spot
Cause you forgot these soldiers won't turn and walk
We take hard knocks come back for more
Cause we're hardcore we fight for the One who died for (you)
And like Saigon we're on the frontlines
And we carry on to the end times

Now that it's on, we're out in the front of this marathon
With our armor on, stay strong we drive on
Our echelon pressin' on 'til we reach the top
And you know we don't stop (our echelon)
Now that it's on

We're on the enemy's hit list
I'm hopin' you get this
You're takin' a risk when you resist the One who made you exist
Evolutionists we got love for you too but we're breakin' down
Walls seeking out the truth
I'm a soldier in this army of One
Like I told ya the battle's already won
So about face move outta the way I gotta pray for you
And this is how we do

2005-11-25T17:17:00.000-05:00

Epitome of Epiphanies

So I was sitting on the can (of soup) yesterday ---> har har har, get it? CAN of soup?
(I diverge...)

I figured out how I would know the girl I meet will be "the one". I'll know she's "the one" when I fall in love with her spiritual life before I'm enamored by her physical appearance. I pray that God will "blind" me from seeing her good-looking-ness (until due time) so that I can focus on her spiritual beauty. Well...at least...that's my theory until proven otherwise. Dang it...I despise it when the wintery season rolls around...cause those "lovey-dovey" feelings keep coming back. I'm reminded of the movie Serendipity...skating at the ice rink, hot chocolate, Christmas tree, snuggling up by a fireplace, late night bing chee ling binges...

"Heaven is not a state of mind, heaven is reality itself. For all that can be shaken will be shaken...and only the unshakeable remains."

When God is all you have, you have all you need.

2005-11-09T19:58:00.000-05:00

Will You Be There
Skillet

As I fall to sleep
Will you comfort me
When my heart is weak
Will you rescue me

Will you be there
As I grow cold
Will you be there when I'm falling down
Will you be there
My heart grows cold
Will you be there when I'm falling down

When I'm in retreat
Can I run to you
Will my pain release
At your mercy seat

Are you saying so
oh, I gotta believe it
Are you saying yeah
When your love comes down I can rest my eyes
Feel your grace and power flood into my life
As my brokenness and your strength collide
When your love comes down
Falling Down

-------------------

Below is an excerpt from today's ODB devotions:

In Genesis 24:16, we are told that Rebekah was "very beautiful to behold." But physical beauty was not the crucial point for Eliezer, the servant of Abraham, who was sent to find a wife for Isaac.

Eliezer's prayer gives us an important clue about the kind of beauty he sought for his master's son: "Let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink' - let her be the one" (v.14).

Common courtesy could have prompted Rebekah to provide drinking water for a stranger, but to water camels was a different matter entirely. Ten thirsty camels could drink up to 210 gallons. Rebekah clearly had a servant's heart.

The Bible tells us that Rebekah was beautiful, but it says much more about the beauty of her character. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised" (Proverbs 31:30).

2005-11-01T20:36:00.000-05:00

12 People + 1 spring box = snap, crackle, pop...oh my lentes!

7.5 more weeks to go!
It's kinda sad...my supervisor agreed with me when I told her that anyone with half a brain could do my job. It's true, I feel the other half of my brain slowly rotting away, decaying into the abyss of stupidity.

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. No one calls on your name or strive to lay hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us and made us waste away because of our sins. Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Do not be angry beyond measure, O LORD; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look upon us, we pray, for we are all your people." [Isaiah 64:7-9]

2005-10-26T17:00:00.000-04:00

How does one deal with infatuation in a Godly manner?

I think it's all about the heart issue. I don't think my heart's in the right place and thus the struggle.

Do you ever get those pangs of loneliness?

I think it's only God calling out to us that we're not close enough to Him. Cause we're never alone, thus loneliness is only a state of mind.

Lead by servanthood.
Serve with humility.

I was at work and I was bored so I made up a Haiku:

I'm fat, but that means
There is more of me to love
So call me chubby.

Feel the emotion, the passion...and the boredom.

2005-10-25T17:15:00.000-04:00

When all the things around me have fallen to the ground
I'm always thankful for the love in You I've found.

You are my all in all.
Nothing can ever take Your place.

2005-10-24T19:18:00.000-04:00

Today was one of those days when the only thing I wanted to do was...nothing. I came home from work, and I just sat. Vegetated. Watched paint dry. Observed fungi growth. Twas' fulfilling in the sense that I had nothing to fill my mind with, yet unfulfilling cause I felt like a fat man with a cheetohs stuck between his crack but his arms are too short to reach the cheetohs. I digress.

I was also daydreaming at work today. Well...sporatically throughout the day. I kept wishing it was the summer so I could play softball. I was picturing the crazy sickening plays I would make at 3rd. Dive, cartwheel and backflip to the ball and then gun the runner out at first with my left hand while eating a taco with my right. Or I'd imagine playing right-field, but I'd do a somersault off a light pole and catch the ball...then proceed to gun the runner at home from the homerun fence with my left hand while I sauteed a steak with my right.

Then there was the fair maiden.

...

[Isaiah 30: 17-26]

A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill." Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, "Away with you!" He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the LORD binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted. See, the Name of the LORD comes from afar, with burning anger and dense clouds of smoke; his lips are full of wrath, and his tongue is a consuming fire. His breath is like a rushing torrent, rising up to the neck. He shakes the nations in the sieve of destruction; he places in the jaws of the peoples
a bit that leads them astray. And you will sing as on the night you celebrate a holy festival; your hearts will rejoice as when people go up with flutes to the mountain of the LORD, to the Rock of Israel. The LORD will cause men to hear his majestic voice and will make them see his arm coming down with raging anger and consuming fire, with cloudburst, thunderstorm and hail.

...

I had a huge commentary for the passage. But then I forgot it.

2005-10-20T17:44:00.000-04:00

I got tagged by Mr. W. Gonsalves! Wow, what an honour. *sniff sniff* Sure beats winning the Noble prize!

Rules of the game:
Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of people who are next in line to do this.

1. As a kid I'd get really red and light-headed when I'm around pretty girls. Now my hands just get really sweaty...so I try to hide them in my pockets, hoping the fabric of the material will absorb the excessive bodily fluids.

2. I have a high school crush on someone that attends a certain university in a certain province. I wanna get to know her better but then my hands would be too sweaty, and all the sweat will gather to my pant pockets and she'll think I peed my pants.

3. I wanna propose to my wife via Alphagetti/Alphabits or a fortune cookie [the fortune will read: "I have a proposal, listen if you will...marry me now and I'll pay for your bill (and I'll do your dishes for one week too, see stores for detail, purchase not necessary)."]

4. Of all the pick-up lines I have...only one is an original

5. I am flat-footed in only one foot. That's my excuse for being a poor runner.

"You are my world, You are my God...and I lay down my life for You. You are the one I love...and no one can ever take Your place." [Hillsongs]

2005-10-03T19:47:00.000-04:00

Litany of the Lord's Prayer

I cannot say..."Our"
if my religion has no room for other people and their needs.

I cannot say..."Father"
if I do not demonstrate this relationship in my daily life.

I cannot say..."Who art in Heaven"
if all my interests and pursuits are earthly things.

I cannot say..."Hallowed be Thy Name"
if I who am called by His name, am not holy.

I cannot say..."Thy Kingdom come"
if I am unwilling to give up my sovereignty and accept the reign of God.

I cannot say..."On earth as it is in Heaven"
unless I am truly ready to give myself to His service here and now.

I cannot say..."Give us this day our daily bread"
without expending honest effort for it or by ignoring the needs of my sisters and brothers.

I cannot say..."Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"
if I continue to harbor a grudge against anyone.

I cannot say..."Lead us not into temptation"
if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.

I cannot say..."Deliver us from Evil"
if I am not prepared to fight in the spiritual realm with the weapon of prayer.

I cannot say..."Thine is the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory"
if I do not give disciplined obedience,
if I fear what neighbors and friends may say or do,
if I seek my own glory first.

I cannot say..."Amen"
unless I can honestly say also, "Cost what it may, this is my prayer."

2005-09-25T20:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the prayers, work has been slightly better. I got moved to the boxed soups instead of the canned soups section. Still adjusting to the hours but tis' all good. Cool quick story.

Last weekend there was a sharing night at fellowship, and afterwards we broke off into groups to pray. One of the guys I prayed with (John) prayed that I'd be able to share my faith with one person at work. So for the earlier part of the week I was slightly discouraged because I hadn't been able to share with anyone...I almost sorta thought that the prayer probably wouldn't be answered. But friday morning when I was doing the inventory at the storage section, the maintanance lady happened to stroll by and we started chatting. Long story short it turned out she was a Christian too...so that was super duper encouraging.

Anywho, I think I'm realizing I've took a lot of things (and still am) for granted. I think back in highschool...just having the time to chill with people...to meet up and share and be accountable...to worship and practice every week in the basement...to have the ability and influence to make a bold impact at the school...to be involved...to help others be involved...to serve. It's much harder now in university. How much harder will it be afterwards?

2005-08-29T19:36:00.000-04:00

work is a royal pain in the arse...

this co-op term has erupted in a lousy beginning. summary of my crap-tacular day:

-woke up at bloody 5:30am
-left house by 6:00am
-got to work at 6:30am
-worked inside an incubator at 37 degrees celsius for around an hr moving crates of cursed soups
-went to a "tasting panel" for soups but most of it tasted like poo
-spent many hours making labels, putting labels on cans, putting labels on petri dishes, streak-plating petri dishes, poking holes in soup containers to measure pH (close to about 500 containers)
-got home at 6:30pm

oh, one more thing...they made me work overtime on the first friggin' day of work. they told me OT was mandatory only after I stepped into the lab.

Campbell's officially lost a customer today.

2005-08-25T06:28:00.000-04:00

"...if you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." [Isaiah 7:9b]

Was looking at some old documents of mine and lo and behold I found a life statement written in first year university (though incomplete):

The purpose of my life is to worship God.
I want to give Him the glory in all that I do;
Regardless of failures, successes, defeats or triumphs,
I want to lift the name of Jesus high no matter the circumstance.

I will not let my current situation become my god.
Through eternal lens shall I look at life;
The bigger picture is in God's hand and that I will trust,
Not my emotions or my selfish instincts.

I will abide by His Truth, not the earth's standard.
Not out of responsibility but out of love for Him,
Obedience will be my goal, sacrifice my path;
I will travel the long and narrow road.

The purpose of my life is to become a disciple of God. What does it mean to be a disciple? My character should be one of a servant. Fruits of the spirit, brokenness, contrite heart, humility, these things the Lord will not despise. Beatitudes? What am I living for that'll impact the kingdom of God?

I remember actually being really genuine and sincere with each word that I wrote in the creed. Wow, how I have fallen from the path. Passion can be so easily quenched with the drink of mediocrity and complacency.

-----------------------

On an unrelated note, some articles courtesy of an online Campus Crusade for Christ ministry:

What is true love?

How to write a love letter

2005-08-21T17:57:00.000-04:00

It all makes sense now...

Men do have trouble hearing women, scientists find
Agence France-Presse
London, August 12, 2005

Men who are accused of never listening by women now have an excuse - women's voices are more difficult for men to listen to than other men's, a report said this week.

The Daily Mail, quoting findings published in the specialist magazine NeuroImage, said researchers at Sheffield university in northern England discovered startling differences in the way the brain responds to male and female sounds.

Men deciphered female voices using the auditory part of the brain that processes music, while male voices engaged a simpler mechanism, it said.

The Mail quoted researcher Michael Hunter as saying, "The female voice is actually more complex than the male voice, due to differences in the size and shape of the vocal cords and larynx between men and women, and also due to women having greater natural 'melody' in their voices."

2005-08-20T19:26:00.000-04:00

"With great hotness comes great responsibility." - Master Yee

haha.

Softball's regular season officially ended for us today. Twas' probably the most enjoyable game played...just cause we weren't all that uptight and we got to drench the servant team members, good times.

Anywho, all I'm left looking forward to (relative to softball) is the long awaited appointment between Mr. Chan and Ms. '2nd base girl'

=)

2005-08-19T23:15:00.000-04:00

I think I have a knack to become another's irritant without myself knowing it...I'm smooth like that. Smooth as a prickly pear.

Anyways, after chilling with my biochem buddies today...I had an epiphany. It is the fact that people will move on. People whom one sees for 8 months of the year will envitably become closer to them. The converse is true as well. Thus I've realized that I will probably never be able to connect with people whom I used be close with as much...since with time/distance separations, our experiences will be different, the crowds we hang out with will not be same, memories cannot be shared...the list goes on. However, it is not to say that the connectivity is gone, it is to point out the fact that further potential for growth will require overcoming this roadblock. I don't think it can be easily achieved (for the next few years), but it can quite possibly be done.

I've also realized that my writing style has become more choppy and has lost its lustrious flow.

In other news, I got a new stapler today and it came with 5000 staples and a staple-remover.

[Isaiah 1:13]
"Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations - I cannot bear your evil assemblies."

Was reading through Isaiah and this verse struck out to me. Meaningless offerings (whether it be money, time, service...) can refer to many things. Oh how many times I've grudgingly gave up a few coins to the homeless, or when was the last time I helped out another without selfish intents? Every "good" done is meaningless unless tis' for God's glory (Soli Deo Gloria).

Prayers of a saint are like sweet smelling incense to the Lord, because only a righteous man's prayer is effectively powerful [James 5:16]. How often I have let my sins get in the way of intercessory ministry. How much unconfessed deeds have tainted the aroma of my incense?

Evil assemblies. A church (not the Body of Christ) can possibly have it, certain clubs, gatherings with people without a profitable clause.

2005-08-16T19:50:00.000-04:00

Initial Endings

The momentuous end of 2B university marks the much coveted 2B work term.

So lately things have been quite on the low end (ever since exams started). I realized that constant studying within the confines of four walls can eventually drive a man anti-social. During the course of the two weeks I've realized that I've lost ability to communicate verbally. I have no troubles reciting amino acid sequences in my head or on paper, but saying it aloud would involve much stumbling. But alas, all is not lost. Through this experience and a bit of deductive reasoning, I have found the cure for a disease...the disease known as "verbal diarrhea" (VD). A person with VD has trouble listening and shutting-up, but the disease can be readily cured by placing the person with VD inside a cubicle along with an Organic chemistry textbook for 96 hours. If treatment has no effect at first, repeat as needed.

Thanks to exams, I have not really been able to connect with a lot of people due to "hermit-itis" (cure unknown), thus feeling quite distant. As well, spiritually it's been quite craptacular. Though devos are done, they are not done with enthusiasm or passion, they are done more out of routine and commitment.

Anywho, since exams ended my excitement for softball has resurrected, albeit kinda late. So hopefully I can end the season on a better note (ie. better than last game played).

2005-07-28T22:49:00.000-04:00

Blessings of single-hood:

Yupz, I'm glad I'm single especially during exam time. I have a friend in biochem who's currently in a huge fight with his gf and it's been super draining on them both. Everytime I see his drooping face...I'm reminded of Jay-Z's lyrics: "I've got 99 problems but the.....ain't one, if you got girl problems I feel bad for you son."
Go singlehood. Booyah!

Anywho, I've also realized that my blog postings have been consistently super duper shallow...if you get my drift. Perhaps it's a side of me that wants to entertain, then perhaps again I'm just a shallow guy. But I just wanna share something that I learned recently and it's given me new perspective.

[Jeremiah 18:1-6]
"This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the LORD came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel."

Just because we've screwed up in the past, it does not mean God cannot use us anymore. God can use any situation (even our failures) for His glory. That's something that I've been struggling with. Cause in the past I've screwed up many times in terms of sexual temptations (and still do at times). I've been in a relationship that was dishonouring to God and as well having an impure mind and heart. But I think slowly and surely God's teaching me that I will carry my sins no more as He is faithful to forgive. However, the scars of my sins will still be there to remind me of my failures, but it's also there to remind me of His great faithfulness. No matter how many times I fall and disobey, He's the faithful Father with His arms wide open.

Sometimes I feel really unworthy to serve...and I think that may be partly why I've been hesistant lately to be a leader/servant at fellowship/church/softball. And because of past mistakes, I don't wanna risk being in a relationship to repeat it again. Anyways, I thought that it'd be good if I started being more transparent on my blog...cause if people can still accept one another with their warts and all, beauty =)

[Ephesians 5:8-13]
"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible..."

2005-07-23T22:12:00.000-04:00

Dang, today was the worst softball game I've ever played...like friggin' serious. Didn't even touch first base, missed all the balls hit to me...felt really bad after each of my mistakes. It's like a gaping hole in which the poly-liposaccharides has been infected with a T-even phage. Been a while since I've felt this shittake...man, it was stupid too. Since there was a certain individual on the team which another certain individual would like to impress but did a crap-tacular job of it. The person trying to impress the individual went for the glory-shots and plays and ended up effing it up.

I suppose there's a lesson for the individual to learn from all this...it's that doing things for one's glory will turn out to be one's own shame.

Well, a bench-warming position has recently opened up and I'm sure the individual would fit perfectly into that role.
The End.

"Excuse me, I've seem to have lost myself in your eyes...can you gimme the directions to your heart?"

2005-07-22T19:29:00.000-04:00

Finally finished my lab exams...now all I have to do is pass them. That's gonna be hard. Two assignments and three finals...then the term is coda!

Anyways, as a biochemist...one learns to be quite observant in all situations. In particular, I have noted something quite profound about my current academic term. I have noticed that all my profs and lab instructors...get this...are members of the female species. Yes, I know...what are the odds of that happening?
Just thought I point that out to bridge into the next topic...

...I got asked by a...get this...GIRL to her 20th b-day party today. I don't really talk to her nor she to me. We see each other during class but haven't been formally introduced. Here's how the convo went:

Girl: "Hey, what's your name?" =) =) =)
Sam: "I'm Sam, you're Maggie right?"
Girl: "Yeah...so, oh yeah...wanna come to my 20th b-day party tomorrow?" =) =) =)
Sam: "Ummm...sorry, I'm going back to TO this weekend" (at this point I'm wishing I hadn't signed up for Summerlicious and kicking myself for doing so)
Girl: "Oh...you're one of those Toronto people eh? Alright, bye!" =) =) =)

She was either pitying my loneliness and current loser-status...or it's my nerdiness finally paying off. Whatever the reason, today has been a landmark day. I shall forever deem this day..."the-day-when-I-got-invited-by-a-fair-maiden-to-her-party day"
Yupz. Let's rejoice, bring out the differential equations...we've got some celebrating to do!!!

2005-07-17T19:38:00.000-04:00

Thoughts you sow...reap actions
Actions you sow...reap habits
Habits you sow...reap lifestyle
Lifestyle you sow...reaps destination.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." [Philippians 4:8]

Gives one a second thought...about their thoughts?

As an aside...

saw Fantastic Four this weekend...and the movie has inspired me to become a bigger nerd. Yes, I have realized that with great nerdiness...comes great responsibilities (and you get the lady). Therefore I must make amendments to my Postulate #1 (renditions in italics):

CHICKS DIG BLUBBER(Y) NERDS

Before I lose my train of thought...here's another aside:

I present...the NERD-tastic Four,

Mr. Nerd-tastic: ability to elongate Grignard reagents without the aid of non-protonated solvents. He can stretch the limits of an aldol synthesis with superhuman activation energies.

Divisible Girl: Uses her standard deviation shield to fend off probable errors...evil quotients with remainders don't stand a chance with this numb(er) crunching gal.

The Human Torque: With quantum physics being his forte, he can turn supernova and spin up relativity constants before his foes can recite the digits in pi.

The Threonine: Toughest amino acid of the bunch, he utilizes the short side chains to bind to non-polar solvents. Carboxylase does not stand a chance against this rocky protein.

2005-07-08T01:09:00.000-04:00

I just had a man-to-man talk with one of my housemates. He told me a story...it went something like this:

There was once a professor who taught at a school for 30 years. As his teaching commitment ended, his retirement quickly came. On his last day of classes the new professor (who turned out to be one of his previous pupils) came to bid the elderly professor tidings on his retirement. The young prof (former pupil and a young chum) said to the elder prof, "You have not been teaching for 30 years...you've only taught for one year." At this, the elderly prof got irrate, but the young chum/prof continued, "You've only taught for one year because in the first year of teaching you were new and had to do everything from scratch. But in the years following all you did was recycle the material and taught each class word by word without adding anything new to it.".....

So what conclusion was drawn from this story? My Christian walk has been pathetic lately. I feel just like the elderly prof, drawing from past experiences over and over without trying anything new. Stagnancy came, and it seems like I've only a year of "teaching" for my 7 years of being a Christian. Maybe cause I have a commitment issue, or perhaps tis' a lack of discipline. Whatever the case, I needed to hear the story and to wake up.

2005-07-06T16:55:00.000-04:00

Do you remember when
You were way back then
You held the world inside your hands
When you told me love
Was the strongest stuff
Your strength was innocence

But, oh man
The signs of the times are omens
You're starting the day in
No man's land again

Who are you gonna be?
When you're on your knees, who do you believe?
Fear is a lonely man
You've been given innocence
You've been given innocence again

You should know by now
That your darkest hour
Is when your broken heart goes down
It's a bitter end
When the sweet begins
Grace is sufficiency

But, oh dear, we'll never deserve it
No dear, we never could earn it
Now, here, the choice is yours

Grace is high and low
Grace is high and low
Grace is high and low
We'll never be the same

2005-06-11T22:08:00.000-04:00

Consider this...

I have stopped working out and neglected all attempts to become ripped and chiseled since the beginning of the term. This is not because I am a lazy piece of cheesecake, nor is it because I've given up on becoming buff. No no no. Far from it. It is because I've come to the realization of something important: I've figured out the key to a lady's heart.

That's right. I've deduced from numerous observations and hypothetical scenarios played out in my head...and have come up with my first (and only) postulate to this incredible, irreputable discovery.

CHICKS DIG BLUBBER.

Bear with me for a moment before you run off and begin chugging down large tubs of butter. There's a reason to this ridiculous statement. Let me explain.

Part A of postulate #1: Chicks dig soft hearts
And no, I don't mean tenderized chicken/cow heart one may find in chinese medicinal soups, rather...it is a man with a sensitive heart. I know it's not very kosher for a man of my calibre to say something like this...but guys need to get in touch with their "emotions".

"Oh my lentes!!!" you may react, but tis' true. A man unruly of his feelings will be feeling-less towards his gf/spouse...which in turns translate to a stiffled relationship which in turns translate to cold shoulders and a cold dinner. Dinner...speaking of food....

Part B of postulate #1: Chicks dig soft stomachs
After doing a survey on two ladies, 50% of all women would prefer to have a bf/husband with some baby fat. It's statistically proven! Lemme explain.

When you walk into a gym, you see a bunch of butch guys. Great. So what? But as one gets more and more butch, one becomes more and more self-conscious and self-centered. Ladies don't dig that. One must not be so enamored with oneself that one forgets who one is with. Thus, if you have a soft tummy, you won't be so caught up in your own abdominal area.

Thus conclude the most sought after theorem. That is...of course, next to the theorem of creating theorems.

2005-06-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

I have now come out of blogging retirement to vent about school.

School suxxors. School for four months in the summer suxxors. School for four months in the summer suxxors like a truckload of boogers. School for four months in the summer suxxors like a truckload of boogers undergoing a Grignard reaction in the presence of water (ie. an impossibility for the corresponding carboxylic acid to be formed).

And we're done.

2005-05-17T22:31:00.000-04:00

Epiphany for the moment:

I came to the realization that I am not good at anything.
I am only mediocre in everything I do.

It is a humbling yet truthful fact that I must face. There is no way I could ever be good at anything, for someone else will always be better. The only thing I could do is up the antics on the standard of mediocrity.

2005-05-08T20:48:00.000-04:00

In Biochem...there are two types of courses. The first are those that challenge you and push you to the limit. Then there are those shoot-yourself-in-the-head-child-bearing-gall-stone-peeing-kill-me-now courses. Lucky for me, all my classes this term are of the latter type.

Gonna be a rough term. Nerdbox mode...meaning...I'm gonna start to burp up lab reports and fart chemical equations.

2005-04-28T11:30:00.000-04:00

Second last day of the first term of a co-op work term.
Report - finished. Is it any good? Highly unlikely.
Pizza day today - engage in eating at 1200

So what have I learned the past four months? Here's a recap:

1) Patience is gained thru being with ppl you wanna punch out.
Case in point: lab partner.
Well, I find that I'm learning more and more each day to become agreeable with disagreeable characteristics of myself and others.

2) Time is too short to waste away watching reality tv.
Case in point: Survivor, Apprentice, Contender, Amazing Race...
I felt that I've truly wasted my time here in Burlington. Time that I could have been used to connect with ppl and friends have been wantonly thrown away into the flickering electronic signals on a glass screen.

3) Behind everyone face, there is a soul waiting to find fulfillment.
Case in point: Co-workers
I realized that everyone at work has been quenching their thirsts in life with worldly activities and trivial pursuits (I too am one of them). True contentment is from God only, not thru status, posession and desires. I can see how devious a paycheck can be at times...

My desire to be used for an eternal purpose wavers like a flower in the wind. Consistency is key, commitment is crucial, passion is the driving force.
I really wanna be more focused while back at school, more "bigger picture" oriented and less self-seeking motivated.

2005-04-15T11:31:00.000-04:00

So I was day-dreaming yesterday...the proceeding is the scenario that played out in my head:

Once upon a decade, I was playing softball...3rd base to be exact. The sun is beaming down gracefully as I prepared for the next batter's viscious hit. "Haha" I thought to myself as I witnessed the helmet clad girl shyly stepping up to plate...from where I was standing, the helmet made her look more like an iron maiden than a fair maiden...

Anywho, the batter warms up, and then...*ping*, the ball is hit...a nice solid grounder...but not solid enough as I used my super fast speed (thanks to the new cleats I've obtained and aero-dynamic clothing) the ball is easily nabbed and thrown to 1st. The ump yells "OUT AT FIRST", instantaneously I see the batter trying to stop, unforunately she doesn't have super cleats on, so in her attempt she trips over the safety bag and proceeded to simultaneously land painfully onto the sharp gravel field.

Luckily for her, I used my quick wits and dashed and caught her in my arms milliseconds away from impact (by this point her helmet had been pulled off by earth's gravitational force and the wind velocity unveiled Rinoa-like hair). Then I said, "You might be out at first...but you're SAFE in my arms." I then proceeded to flash an Adrian-like perma-smile.

"Thank you so much! I sure do feel safe in your arms!" replied the iron maiden turned fair maiden.
"How's your leg feeling now?" I asked with Kwan-like charisma
"It's hurting a bit..." the girl answered.
"Well, lemme carry you to safety." briskly I lifted her up with Brent-like biceps
"Here you go, I hope you get better soon!"
"I sure will, now that you've saved me!" she replied.
"So.." I asked, "You got any plans after the game?" that ignited a spontaneous explosion of pick-up lines outta my mouth. Unfortunately, I accumulated more slaps than laughter from her, she deemed most of my lines quite "distasteful" (I'm assuming it was the booger and baker ones), thus I exited the dug-out and vowed to never use pick up lines again.

THE END.

2005-04-14T10:54:00.000-04:00

This newspaper article can definately explain my luck with the ladies...

Daredevil Behavior Holds No Sway with the Ladies

LONDON (Reuters) - Daredevil men who believe they can attract women with their reckless behavior, should think again.

A survey of 100 men and women by researchers at the University of Maine in Orono, showed that women are not impressed by bungee jumping and other risky types of behavior but actually prefer men who take fewer chances.

"Men thought women would be impressed by pointless gambles, but women in fact preferred cautious men," New Scientist magazine said Wednesday.

One theory to explain risky male behavior is that men are showing off their strength and bravery to woo potential partners.

But researcher William Farthing said women prefer high-status males to risk-takers.

"So if he has higher status among other men, women might like him for his status, even though they don't like risk-taking itself," he said.

Dang it, guess I must relinquish my stunt-double night job, sword swallowing hobby and late night plights to jump off buildings. *sigh* No Fear Factor for moi...maybe if I get onto the Apprentice my status will go up!

2005-04-12T18:27:00.000-04:00

Vanity Strikes
Perhaps it's the halfway point to mid-life crisis, sudden urges to splurge is creeping inside me.

Possible things I can afford with co-op paycheck:

Juan Pablo Montoya Valve

Casio Edifice EFA110D-1AV

Easton Intense Mid (provided I play softball this season, mid-cuts are so much more comfy!)

Bowflex SelectTech Dumbbells

Toyota Rav4 (well, it'll take a while to save up for it...I'm a family kinda guy...gotta buy a family kinda car...hah)

Asus W5000A Series

My 1 -1/8" fighting stick that I bought already (not exactly mine, just a pic I took off the net)

Man oh man, I think I'm beginning to fall into materialism...cursed paycheck...

2005-04-10T22:40:00.000-04:00

Thanks guys, really appreciate it.
Symptoms: chest pains, shortness of breath
Diagnosis: Best case scenario - bad case of acid reflux, Worse Case - unconfirmed

Well, back to work tomorrow...life goes on.
Peace.

2005-04-09T16:12:00.000-04:00

Got together with Rolf for pancakes this morning, he's a real solid guy. I learn tons from him. Something he shared really stuck with me:

2 Timothy 4:7

From now until my last breath...what would my life have to look like in order for me to say what Paul has said? Looking back and having no regrets, having done everything that was possible, not giving up despite failures...what would my life have to look like from now until that day? I want this to be my goal and what I strive for.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

2005-04-05T18:52:00.000-04:00

Here are my resolves:

I wanna be a member of the International Hall of Hunk-hood

AND

Become the poster boy for testosterone

Oh baby. Reading Garfield, Sherman's Lagoon and Get Fuzzy comic strips during work sure do gimme lotsa inspirations.

I wanna hibernate.